


Whispers

by TeaRexxy



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-05-30 05:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 25,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6411328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRexxy/pseuds/TeaRexxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janan Mahariel is hearing whispers in her dreams more often and louder as time goes on. It's barely been a year since the end of the Blight, but she is sure that it is her Calling already. Even so there is hope in an old friend who may have an idea for a cure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Whispers came to her in her dreams. Always quiet and just barely there, at the back of her mind. They spoke in a language she didn't know but still understood. They whispered what they wanted to do, and sometimes she'd see images of the world corrupted and overrun with darkspawn. There was no life aside from them, and what little bits of it were still alive were swiftly wiped out. Those were the nights that she woke in a cold sweat with her heart beating too fast, a pounding headache, and it became impossible to return to sleep.

  
"Warden Commander," a voice on the other side of her door called. "Sorry to wake you but there is an urgent raven for you." She let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. Work never seemed to end.

  
"I will be there in a moment," she responded. It was only after the sound of footsteps disappeared that she got out of bed and started pulling on her armor.

  
"Duty always calls, no?" She glanced over her shoulder to see the only person who wasn't a Grey Warden awake and watching her. Zevran was the last person she had expected to have at her side, mostly because he'd been trying to kill her when they first met, but when she had spared his life she'd quickly found that he was very skilled in the art of killing. After time with him she'd also found herself falling for him, something she hadn't foreseen in the middle of a Blight.

  
"Always," she responded. "This time though, it's urgent. It is always urgent, isn't it?" The last of her armor slid on and she set to tying it in place. "Go back to sleep. Better if one of us actually gets some," she muttered.  
"You haven't been sleeping well. I've refrained from asking, but now there are dark circles under your eyes, marring your beautiful face. Talk to me, Janan," Zevran said. Janan turned around and bit her bottom lip, a habit she'd had since she was old enough to remember. "I know that expression. Stop trying to talk yourself out of it, mi amor." It was Zevran's accent and foreign language that broke her.

  
"I keep hearing whispers in my sleep. Sometimes it is more than whispers, I get images. I'm starting to think that it's the Calling." Zevran frowned.

  
"After only a year?"

  
"I know, I didn't think that it was possible. It is mostly just whispers, always there in the back of my head. It's the images that really get to me. It's something to think about at another time, right now there is business to take care of. I'd invite you along, but you know how much they all love you." Janan smirked and Zevran laughed.

  
"Oh yes! They were especially pleased when I suggested the orgy to relieve stress, or casual Friday." Zevran's face lit up as he thought about the looks on the Grey Warden's faces when he'd explained his vision for casual Friday. He had imagined everyone walking around naked.

  
"It definitely relieved stress in the room," Janan commented. She'd literally snorted water out her nose when Zevran had brought it up, when they'd been talking about how to best prepare Ferelden for the next Blight, when it happened. "I don't think my nose has forgiven you for making me snort water, I might add."

  
"Then I will just have to make it up to it," Zevran stated as he got to his feet and crossed the room. He placed a kiss on her nose and she smiled. "Better?"

  
"It has refrained from passing judgment, but you still aren't forgiven. Now back to bed with you, I've got work to do." Janan gave him a kiss before leaving her bed chamber, heading for the tower where the ravens were kept. If they had come and gotten her in the middle of the night instead of waiting until day time that meant she was the one that was supposed to remove it, or it was the demon raven. That raven only liked her, which was just as well because it was usually secret information from Leliana that she wasn't supposed to have.

  
The tower was on the other side of the keep but she made the trip there quickly. There weren't many people in the halls, navigation was much easier but at the same time the dimly lit, empty hallway made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Janana shook her head, pushing the unease from her mind and focused on getting to the tower. She was the Hero of Ferelden and a Warden Commander, there was no need to start thinking that things are going to pop out of the dark, especially in a fortress that was literally filled with Grey Wardens. Not only that but she had been in much scarier places, the Deep Roads were the perfect example.

  
The keepers in the tower were going about their business and when she stepped inside one of them pointed to the bird for her. Janan nodded her thanks and stepped over. The raven wasn't one she'd seen before but it seemed friendly and well trained. Carefully she removed the message from the bird's leg and looked at the seal. To the untrained or quick eye the seal looked to be that of the King of Ferelden's, but she was used to seeing that seal and knew that this wasn't it. There was a slight difference in one of the swords. Frowning she opened the message.

  
_Janan_

  
_Do you remember when you confided in me about the whispers in your dreams? I asked Alistair on the night of our...liaison, if he was hearing the same whispers. He was not. I think the Taint has taken a deeper hold on you, because you were tainted before the joining and not during. No doubt the whispers are becoming more frequent and louder. If you're beginning to think that it is the Calling, you would be correct. Worry not though, I have read of a cure. Come to my mother's hut in the Korcari Wilds, I will meet you there._

  
_Morrigan_

  
Janan stared at the message in her hands. This couldn't be real.


	2. Chapter 2

Janan threw open the door to her bedroom and marched over to Zevran, who she had startled awake. There was a knife in his hand and she was surprised to find that she had no idea where he'd grabbed it from. He certainly hadn't crawled into bed with it on him. She made a mental note to ask about it later.

"Read this." Janan held out the note to him and he took it, a little annoyed at having been woken up for a note. Zevran read the note quickly, his face going from annoyed to shock.

" A cure? Morrigan is offering a cure?" he asked. He was out of bed in seconds, heading toward the wardrobe against the wall. "This is good news!"

"Yes, but it confirms what I thought," Janan said. She had been right in thinking that she was going through the Calling, a mere two years into her being a Grey Warden. Duncan hadn't foreseen how badly the taint had corrupted her, either that or the Keeper's magic had masked it.

"Mi amor, there is hope," Zevran said as he walked over to her and grabbed her arms gently, abandoning his walk to the wardrobe. "There is hope that you no longer have to be a Warden. You can go back to your clan, I know you have missed it. More than once I have woken in the night to you muttering about the forest. I have seen you look longingly for halla in the stables."

"I thought I was doing a good job of hiding my home sickness," Janan muttered as a slight blush crept across her cheeks. Zevran chuckled.

"To most, yes, not to me. I like to think that I know you quite well." Zevran gave her his trademark smirk, implying sexual innuendo.

"Yes, you do know me quite well, but on the other side of that coin, I know you like no other." Janan gave him her own sly smirk before giving him a peck on the cheek. After she pulled away headed to the wardrobe and pulled out their packs. "I might miss my clan but I would miss you much more. Let's get packing, it is a long trip to the Wilds." Zevran took his pack and started pulling out his clothes while Janan did the same with hers.

Packed and ready to go Zevran and Janan headed to the stables, the horses looked excited to be getting out of the Keep for a while. Janan got more freedom to come and go than most Wardens, especially because she was friends with Alistair, King of Ferelden, but she still had to give a reason as to why she was leaving.

"I have personal business to attend to," Janan answered at the gate. The Warden on duty raised an eyebrow.

"Should missives and messages be forwarded to you anywhere?” he asked. Seeing as she was the one in charge it was a valid question. Janan shook her head. “Then who is to take care of business while you are gone?”

“Oghren will know who to place in charge in the morning. Provided there isn’t another Blight the day to day should be easy enough for whoever is in charge. I will be back in a few months, or I’ll send word.” The guard at the gate nodded his head and let them pass before writing her reason for leaving down. No doubt some people would question what personal business she had to attend to. Her clan had left Ferelden meaning it wasn’t business with them. It would leave people scratching their heads.

“What are you thinking about over there?” Zevran asked. Janan looked up from the spot that she was staring at on her saddle and looked over to him. He was at home enough on a horse as he was in a carriage or walking. Everything just seemed to come so effortlessly to him and he fit right in. She knew that it was part of his training to become a Crow but sometimes she found herself jealous of it.

“The cure,” Janan answered quietly. She could scarcely believe that there might even be a cure. “I undertook the Joining because there was no choice, it was join or die, maybe become this terrible Blighted ghoul walking around like Tamlen. I find it hard to believe that in all the years since the founding of the Wardens that there is actually a cure. Wouldn’t someone else have found it before now?”

“You are forgetting, my love, that these people did not have Morrigan searching for it. No doubt she has found herself an ancient tome from her mother about it, or in a lost library from ancient days past. It is just a glimmer of hope, but I will take a glimmer over nothing,” Zevran commented. “Should there be no cure, you can be sure that I won’t let you become anything other than yourself.” Janan smiled at him and nodded her head. She wouldn’t say thank you to that, she knew that it would tear him to pieces but she had to at least let him know that she appreciated it.

“You always know just what to say,” Janan commented. “How long do you think it will take to get to the Korcari Wilds?” Janan asked. She looked South along the road. Traveling during the Blight had all blurred together into a mad dash from one side of the country to the other in hopes of getting everything that she needed in order to stop the Blight from happening. It hadn’t been easy, and she had ended up in places she never wanted to go back to, but she and the troops she had assembled had stopped the arch demon. None of the Wardens had ended up sacrificing themselves, luckily. Morrigan’s ritual had worked with Alistair and the Old God’s soul had found the empty vessel and as far as she knew the pregnancy had gone well and the child had been born without problems.

“It is hard to say,” Zevran answered. “There are no darkspawn we have to fight along the way, but there are bandits, highwaymen, and maybe some wild animals. Ferelden is much recovered but there are still many places to rebuild. A month and a half, maybe more.”

“My ass is going to be sore for days after we get there,” Janan sighed.

“Pity I won’t have anything to do with it,” Zevran lamented. “Unless of course riding is only half of the soreness?”

“Does your mind ever leave the gutter?”

“I’m afraid it does, but only when in danger, or in the middle of a fight that could not be solved through means of seduction. It is something you love about me, no?”

“Yes, but sometimes you make it very hard to be serious.” Zevran flashed a cheeky grin. “We’d better get riding, I want to make some decent ground before sunrise. The sooner we get to the Wilds the sooner we can figure out just what exactly this so called cure is going to require. I hope you’re up for fetching jobs, I have a feeling we’re going to be doing quite a few of them,” Janan sighed.

“You did always hate those.”

“Yes! Why does it have to be my job to go and get the stupid thing that some stupid person left behind? Or needs to complete something that has nothing to do with what I’m doing. I don’t appreciate being sent to the ass end of nowhere just to get something very stupid and pointless. Fetch it yourself, you lazy ass.” Janan let out a frustrated noise and then took a deep breath. “I hate fetching.”

“Which is good, as you are not a dog. Speaking of, how is your mabari?”

“Getting on quite well with his mate and pups. Alistair is hoping that one of the pups will imprint on him and then I can have Ilen back, and his mate since apparently they’re inseparable. Best we get serious about riding, I don’t want to keep Morrigan waiting.” Zevran nodded and they both spurred their horses into a sprint, heading South to the Korcari Wilds.


	3. Chapter 3

Janan woke from her sleep in a cold sweat with her heart feeling like it was going to pound its way out of her chest. The whispers that had plagued her sleep were reduced to the faintest of noises in the back of her mind that were easily ignored, but in her dreams they had been as loud as screams on a battlefield. She put her head in her hands and tried to force herself to stop shaking. When that didn’t work she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. When she breathed in she thought ‘in’ and when breathing out she thought ‘out.’ Giving herself something different to focus on helped dispel the terrible whispers and images that had been in her head. Typically the dreams weren’t bad enough to make her shake, it had just been a bad night.

Knowing that sleep wasn’t going to come again Janan got up from her bedroll and got the fire going again by throwing a few sticks and a log into it. The embers caught the dry wood quickly and she stared into it for a few seconds before drawing out her bow and arrows. She counted the arrows with just a glance and realized that soon enough she was going to have to rely on another means of fighting. She was down to ten arrows, even after she’d recovered some of the ones that she’d fired earlier in the week. 

Bandits and highwaymen were still problems in Ferelden, she’d come to realize. They plagued the roads, picking on anyone who wasn’t in a large travelling band. She and Zevran were prime targets, even with the crest of the Grey Wardens on her armor. Wardens were always formidable and well trained, Janan had thought that with crest would deter them from attacking them but it didn’t. They looked at their small number and weapons and thought they were rich, or at least had money on them. It wasn’t until after Janan and Zevran had started killing that they’d realized their mistake. Pointless death didn’t make Janan feel any better but when it was her life or theirs she certainly wasn’t going to let it be hers, or Zevran’s.

The fire was a dim source of light but it spread a small circle around them. She could see Zevran’s sleeping form on the other side of the fire, facing out toward the darkness. Normally she would have been angry with him for sleeping while she was sleeping but they were closing in on the wilds and knew that the taint was too heavy in the ground for people to start coming back. Even so it was much less than it had been when the darkspawn were pouring out of the wilds. Sometimes the battle against the ogre still gave her nightmares, she couldn’t imagine the nightmares that soldiers down on the front lines had. 

Janan’s thoughts drifted around in circles as she stared into the fire. It all came back to the Blight. It tainted everything it touched, the ground, people, animals, there were even darkspawn that could use magic. It could corrupt everything and that made her skin crawl. The fact that she could possibly one day spread it made her want to puke. 

“Janan!” Janan jumped out of her thoughts when she heard her name being yelled at her. Her eyes shot up to look at Zevran who was staring back at her, looking concerned. Typically he wasn’t one to worry, he was a firm believer that things would work out, but he was worrying now. “I have been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” Janan responded easily. It took her a few seconds to realize that she’d been zoning out and not thinking for a while, the sun was coming up. The last time she’d looked at the sky there had only been the stars and the moon, no light peeking over the horizon. “Don’t give me that worried look. I was just lost in thought.” 

“Even if it were more than that, I do not think you would tell me,” Zevran commented. Janan let out a sigh. 

“I would tell you, and you know it. Really, nothing is wrong; I was just lost in my thoughts. I haven’t been back this way since we went to Ostagar and found Cailan’s body. Are you hungry? I can grab some rations before we head out, if you’d like.” Zevran shook his head and got to his feet. He stretched out the knots in his body and then started rolling up his bedroll. Janan kicked some dirt over the embers and then did the same.

“How long have you been awake?” 

“A few hours,” she answered. “I couldn’t sleep.” Zevran looked at Janan with a concerned look on her face. They’d been travelling a few weeks now and he couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten a full night’s sleep. “I know what you’re thinking,” Janan commented as she strapped her bedroll to her horse. “I’ve got some herbs and things on me that will make a decent sleeping potion. When we stop for the night later I’ll make it and drink it. I promise.”

“Good, I very much dislike worrying over you,” Zevran stated as he climbed up onto his horse. Janan looked up at him and smiled. “You are going to give me worry lines, and then how am I supposed to seduce you, mi amor?” Zevran asked.

“It takes more than your good looks to seduce me, Zev,” Janan commented as she got onto her horse and took up the reigns. “Let’s get riding shall we? We still have a long way to go.” They spurred their horses into motion and set off, still heading South.

The sun was high in the sky when Janan gave Zevran a barely noticeable nod. He gave one back and they both slid off the horses on the side of the road. He stretched and took the opportunity to look around.

“Nature calls,” he said and headed into the tree line near them. Janan watched him go and began setting up a small fire for cooking. There were still dry rations in their packs but those were for an emergency, and they had no taste. She had gotten a rabbit earlier in the day. It was small and wouldn’t make a large stew, but it would be enough for a hearty lunch at least. While the fire got started Janan set to skinning the rabbit, keeping her bow and arrows close at hand. 

There was a thump from behind her and she knew that Zevran had gotten his dagger into a target. She dropped the hare, grabbed her bow and quiver and strung up her bow as she whirled around. There were several horses bolting out from the trees with their riders. Her bow snapped to them and then in front of them. The fire arrow cut through the air, embedding itself into the head of the man without a helmet. His limp body hit the ground and his horse kept running. The second man had gotten control of his horse and was now charging her. Janan saw his blade ready to swing down at her. There wouldn’t be time to fire an arrow and then dart back out of the way before the horse got to her. A knot formed in her stomach as she drew a dagger, put it in her left hand, and waited. When the horse got close enough Janan dove to the side, lashing out with her dagger at the same time. The luck that she hadn’t been counting on paid off and her dagger bit into the tender flesh of the horse’s leg, maiming it. It went down as it tried to put its weight on the lame leg. The rider flew through the air, toward the cooking fire, and landed just short of it, dazed.

Zevran walked out of the trees, blood on his dagger and sword and splatter on his armor. He looked perfectly fine and he seemed to have a bit more spring in his step. It had been a while since they’d gotten to be out in the field. Killing wasn’t enjoyable per say, but the thrill of a fight was a very nice change from the every monotony that they’d been living in the keep. 

“There were only a few of them, I took care of most of them. Those two were the ones that got away.” Janan nodded as she walked over to the man who was slowly coming out of his daze. While he was still getting his faculties back together Janan socked him in the side of the head, toppling him over and knocking him unconscious. Zevran winced he knew all about Janan’s right hook and how much it hurt. He’d gotten it a few times when they’d been practicing unarmed combat. 

“You checked the other bodies for information?” Janan asked. Zevran nodded and produced a note.

“I am afraid that it is no longer I that is being hunted.” Confused Janan took the note and started reading. It was a contract from the House of Repose. She’d heard about the House of Repose from a few of the Orlesian Wardens at the keep. They were very much like the Antivan Crows. The contract stated that she was to be killed. There was no reason and no name on the paper. It looked like she had angered someone in Orlais. “I cannot think of a reason why someone from Orlais would want you killed. You have done nothing to them, nor ever conscripted someone from there.” Janan folded the note and tucked it away; it might come in handy later.

“I have no idea, Zev,” Janan confessed. “When he wakes up we will have a few questions for him. Let’s get him tied up.” Zevran and Janan stripped the man of all his armor and clothing beneath, leaving him in nothing but his smallclothes. It wasn’t very dignified but she didn’t care. He had been hired to kill her, he was lucky she was letting him live. While he was out Janan went back to skinning and butchering the hare while Zevran picked through the man’s belongings. He was more likely to stop something to do with assassinations than she was.

“Well, he certainly came prepared. There were many vials of poison sewn into his clothing, no doubt for coating his blades. His coin purse is also quite heavy.” Zevran demonstrated by tossing it into the air a few times and listening to the clanking of coins inside. “We will be keeping it, yes?”

“Damn right. There is only one person who gets a pass at trying to assassinate me, and that’s you. Mostly because the Antivan accent is very pleasant to the ears while an Orlesian accent is grating. And you were willing to join with me to stop the Blight. He isn’t going to have the same luck as you did. There is no Blight I need help with, he’s going to give us information and depending on the usefulness he gets to go free in his skivvies, or he dies in them.”

“They weren’t even good assassins,” Zevran sighed. “It was quite obvious they were following us. Especially when they passed us on the road and started following us for a while,” Zevran added. 

“They must think me very stupid to not have noticed that. The House of Repose is not living up to the reputation I have heard about it.” Janan shook her head.

“It is possible that these might be the recruits,” Zevran said. “They send the weakest to test you and when they don’t return or send word they send the more experienced assassins after you.” Janan thought about it a moment. 

“One way to find out.” Janan used the rope from her saddle bags and started tying him up. It was true that he was unarmed and nearly naked, but she didn’t want to take chances. Once she was sure that the rope was secure and there was no way that he’d get out of them without her allowing him to she started slapping his face to wake up him. “Wake up!” The assassin came to and started when he saw Janan right in front of him. “Welcome back to the world of the waking.”

“You are truly fortunate that your horse falling didn’t kill you when it sent you flying,” Zevran stated as he moved in to stand behind Janan. “Though maybe it would have been better had you died, I doubt this interrogation will be pleasant for you.” He played with his dagger and the assassin’s face hardened.

“I will tell you nothing!” He snarled. Janan smiled sweetly at him. Zevran had decided to take the role of bad interrogator while she was the good one. Though in truth she would have rather been the bad interrogator, they’d been trying to kill her after all.

“Look, if you want to get out of this unharmed, well mostly, I suggest you start talking. I’m much more likely to call him off if you tell me why you were sent to kill me, and who hired the House of Repose would be nice too, but I doubt you would know that, being stupid and all that.” The assassin narrowed his eyes at her and clamped his lips together tighter. “I wish you hadn’t done that.” Janan sighed and stepped back. Zevran came forward and squatted down to look into the man’s eyes. 

“I imagine you need your fingers, yes?” Zevran moved to stand behind the man where he grabbed a finger and wrenched it to the side. The assassin screamed in pain. “I suggest you start telling the lady what she wants to know. You have nine other fingers I can break.” Sweat had broken out over the man’s body and his chest was heaving, but he didn’t look ready to start talking. Janan gave Zevran a sad look. There was another crack as Zevran broke another finger.

“I don’t know anything! We get our missions at drop locations. I was told this would be a group effort to take down the Hero of Ferelden. No doubt you found the note that is all the information we get before we set off on our mission. Whoever wants you dead was paying very well, however. That’s all I can tell you, I swear.”

“Where do you stand in the House of Repose?” Janan asked. She wanted to know if she could look forward to more skilled assassination attempts. Better to start the life saving paranoia now rather than later. 

“I am very low, this was my first mission.” He tried to look over his shoulder to see what Zevran was doing but couldn’t.

“Since you have no useful information I don’t see why we should bother keeping you alive, do you?” Janan asked as she looked behind at Zevran. 

“What? No! Don’t kill me!” Zevran hit him in the back of the head and he collapsed. 

“Looks like you will have more assassins coming after you, mi amor,” Zevran stated. Janan nodded and sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She felt a headache forming between her eyes and she just knew that it wasn’t going to go away.

“Just wish I knew why and who wanted me dead? I haven’t pissed off anyone lately. Cut him loose, he can be a warning to anyone else trying to come after me.” Zevran did as he was told and cut the rope holding the unconscious assassin. “We’d better get riding and get as much distance as we can today. After this we’re getting off the roads. I’m not going to make their job easy, and I’m sure as hell not going down without a fight.”

“I certainly remember the thrashing you gave me,” Zevran chimed happily. Janan smiled a wicked grin at him. “I was sore for a week after.”

“Yes, well you did try to kill me. Fair is fair, wouldn’t you say, Zev?”

“Oh yes. I would say it worked out very well, for the both of us. We should go, yes?” Janan nodded and hopped up onto her horse, leaving the fire pit, the rabbit, and the bodies where they were. Before she spurred her horse into action she glanced over at the horse she had maimed and sighed, there would be no way for it to survive. She pulled an arrow from her quiver and drew her bow. The arrow found itself sticking out of the horse’s eyes as it collapsed. 

“I hate killing animals like that,” she sighed. Once her bow was strapped to the side of her horse she spurred it into motion and headed south, still heading for the wilds, and her hope of being cured.


	4. Chapter 4

The old shack that she'd woken up in over two years ago came into view as she crested the hill and a flood of emotions hit her. This shack had been the start of her uphill battle to get Ferelden's act together to combat the darkspawn hoard. The first few months had been the hardest. Alistair had decided to not take his role as senior warden and put everything on her shoulders, she was wanted dead by Loghain's people, and no one wanted to give the promised aid because of too many stupid reasons she didn't care to remember. The sight of it filled her with hope, longing, and nostalgia with a healthy dose of relief. Even though those months had ended up leading to the best thing that ever happened to her, she would never want to do relive them. 

"Somehow I pictured Morrigan living in a nicer house than this," Zevran commented. Janan thought back to the mission she'd gone on to retrieve Flemeth's Grimoire. She hadn't brought Zevran with her that time. "This is the shack you told me of, yes?"

"Yes," Janan answered. "I woke up here after fighting an ogre and being swarmed by other darkspawn in the tower. I was still healing from broken ribs and arrow punctures. That scar you like to rub your fingers over is from that attack. A hurlock stabbed me, if I remember right. My memories from that are a bit fuzzy," Janan explained. The scar she was talking about was on her left side and when Zevran wrapped his arms around her waist from behind his hand would fall on top of it. He liked to trail his fingers up and down it. Zevran had his own scars that she liked to touch and ask him about, the stories that he told were always interesting. 

"It must have been hard to know that everything you had come to know was destroyed," Zevran stated. Janan glanced over at him and then shook her head before looking back.

"I never wanted to be a Grey Warden. I only went with Duncan because he said he had a cure of sorts. Originally I was going to say to hell with Ferelden and the Wardens, but I could never bow out and leave things half finished, as much as I wanted to. Come on, let's go see how Morrigan is doing." Janan gently pushed into her horse's sides and the horse picked up its pace. Zevran followed suit and a few minutes later they were both tying the horses to the few small trees that had started growing around the shack.

"Well, well. What have we here?" Janan glanced up from the horse to see Morrigan standing in the door way of the shack, a small boy on her hip staring down at them curiously. It was hard to see but the boy had a nice blend of Alistair and Morrigan. No doubt when he grew up he'd be very pleasant on the eyes. "Trespassers?"

"It's nice to see you too, Morrigan," Janan commented with a smile. "You and your son are looking well," Janan added. She moved to walk up the stairs to come inside and Morrigan stepped out of the way. "What's his name?"

"Kieran," Morrigan answered as she closed the door behind Zevran. "Tis a pleasure to see the both of you again, as well. I was beginning to think that I had been stood up," Morrigan added. She bent down and put Kieran on the ground, pointing to the small pile of toys on the other side of the main room. Kieran toddled over and started playing with them, having lost interest in the new guests.

"We had to stay off the main roads, it added a couple weeks onto our already very long ride," Zevran explained. "It turns out Janan is being hunted by the House of Repose." Janan let out an unhappy noise at the mention of the assassins that had been sent after her. "They are no match for a Crow, of course." Morrigan looked at the both of them and shot a worried glance over to Kieran. In that one glance Janan knew that Morrigan would do whatever it took to keep her son safe, even if it meant abandoning them, or killing them. 

"We made sure to take the long way," Janan started. "We left the roads and followed game trails through the forest. We made sure that we weren't followed before coming here. I know better." Morrigan still didn't look relieved but the tension that had gathered in her shoulders lessened. There was no way that Morrigan was going to let anything happen to her son, she cared about him too much. "You have my word that if they come here I will set my life down to make sure that you and Kieran get out of here alive." The words were out of her mouth before she really knew what she was saying, but as soon as she was finished speaking she saw that it had been the right thing to say. Morrigan was much more relaxed with that promise.

"Very well. Shall we get down to it, then?" Janan nodded. Morrigan stepped over, a light shimmering glow covering her hands. "I must first examine you, to see how far the taint has spread. If it goes too far the cure will not work and it would be best for you to go to the Deep Roads to finish your Calling." Janan nodded again, not trusting her voice to be steady. She put on a brave face, but the thought of having to go into the Deep Roads to face a near infinite hoard of darkspawn did not sound like a glorious way to go out. Neither did turning into a ghoul. Morrigan's glowing hands hovered barely an inch away from her as they moved slowly downwards. 

Zevran watched curiously. Magic was always something to behold, especially the healing spells, he'd learned. Wynne's magic had been beautiful, especially when the Spirit of Faith had been called upon. There had been times when magic would have been very helpful in his line of work, but he was glad he didn't have it at the same time. Growing up in a Circle didn't sound any more fun than his childhood as a Crow. At least as a Crow he'd gotten freedom in some things, from what he'd seen the mages in the Circle barely had any. 

Morrigan's hands hovered over Janan's abdomen for a second before the magic disappeared. Morrigan looked at Janan, worry spread across her face.

"What? What is it?" Janan asked.

"You are pregnant," Morrigan answered. Janan stared. Zevran stared. "You are pregnant and your child is making the taint spread through you faster. I do not know how it is possible exactly, but this pregnancy is putting you on the way to becoming a broodmother..." Janan felt her heart start to race and her lungs didn't seem to be working anymore. The room was spinning and she slowly backed away from Morrigan. 

"Janan, mi amor, focus on me," Zevran said as he moved to stand between Morrigan and Janan. He didn't reach out and touch her even though he wanted to. The one time he'd touched her had resulted in panicked screams that had nearly woke the entire Keep. She had ended up huddled in a corner staring into nothing and shaking her head from side to side. "You grew up Dalish, yes?" Janan heard him talking but she wasn't entirely sure what he was saying, even so he kept talking. "You were always fond of the Halla. You told me once that you wished you could have been their tamer instead of a hunter for your clan. You always loved how their horns twisted like the roots of a tree." Janan nodded her head slowly. She was slowly coming out of it. "Among the things you miss most about your clan are the people. Merrill and Keeper Marethari, Master Ilen, and Maren."

"Maren was the Halla tamer," Janan muttered. "She was worried about one of the Halla, she was acting strange." Janan closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Instead of letting it out right away she held it for ten seconds before exhaling through her nose and opening her eyes. "I'm okay now," Janan said. 

"I am sorry, I did not know saying that would cause such a reaction," Morrigan said. Janan took another steadying breath and nodded her head in acceptance. "I think it is time I explain this cure to you. We do have a time limit."


	5. Chapter 5

Before Morrigan launched into the information about the cure they settled down into the few chairs scattered about the room where Kieran was playing. Morrigan kept her son in her peripheral vision at all times, not entirely sure that the assassins who were after Janan had actually been lost. The time it took everyone to get seated also gave Jana more time to calm down from the news that had been sprung on her, the good news, and the horribly terrible news.

"There has been one Grey Warden that has been cured. She currently resides in Weisshaupt, too far for me to go with my son on my hip. From what little information that I found on her curing blood magic was involved." Janan's eyes narrowed instantly. She'd seen her fair share of blood mages while she'd been whipping Ferelden into shape. It had never been worth it, and it had always made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. "I do not know the exact process to which she underwent, but I have devised my own thoughts," Morrigan explained.

"Please tell me it doesn't get any worse than becoming a Broodmother," Janan said the word as quickly as she could so she didn't have to think about it. Morrigan watched Kieran take a few steps and then flop down onto the floor, having lost his balance. Instead of getting back up he grabbed a toy and started playing with it.

"We are going to need the Urn of Andraste," Morrigan said, ignoring Janan's comment. "The ashes inside the urn possess healing powers, and the blood magic will boost the power, destroying the taint within you. Tis not a cure for all the Wardens, just one. I imagine all the ashes will be required." Janan stopped the annoyed sigh from escaping and stared at the floor instead. 

She had left the Urn where it had been for centuries, taking only enough of the ash to cure Arl Eamon. The Gauntlet hadn't been hard and she was sure she'd be able to get back inside the temple without a problem again, but she didn't relish the thought of having to make the trip. It was a long one, and on top of that she had no idea where to find a blood mage.

"I would like to err on the side of caution, however," Morrigan continued. "We will need two blood mages. One to focus their power on the ashes, the other to use on you."

"What do you mean?" Zevran asked before Janan had a chance to.

"They will be using their blood magic to pull the taint from your body into one place. I will not lie, it will be painful, probably more so than anything else you've had to do." This time Janan let out the annoyed sound and stood up. 

"And where am I supposed to find two blood mages? The only blood mage I knew of was Jowan, who was kill by Eamon. In your travels around have you discovered any?" Morrigan narrowed her eyes at Janan who was pacing now. "I'm sorry, this has me on edge. I've known since I became a Warden that I'd undergo my Calling. I'd head to the Deep Roads to die fighting Darkspawn before I became a ghoul. I never thought that..." Janan trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud. "Any ideas on where to find a couple blood mages?"

"I have heard that Kirkwall is filled to the brim with mages who use questionable magic," Morrigan answered. "Ferelden is still too chaotic to easily find them. It will be worth the trip to Kirkwall to find the mages. When you have gathered all the things needed for this we will do the ritual here. Shall I be having two guests for dinner, or none?" Morrigan asked. Janan let a smile slip onto her lips. They were both remembering the time that Janan had been healed in the hut.

"Two for dinner," Janan answered. 

"Very well. If you would like something other than watered down stew, I suggest you hunt."

"Fair enough," Janan answered. "I'll be back soon." Janan headed for the door. Zevran didn't follow her, he knew she needed time to herself to figure everything out.

"I am surprised that the two of you are together, still," Morrigan said to Zevran after Janan left the hut. "You do not see the type to have a relationship."

"Ah yes, that is true," Zevran agreed with a knowing smile. "I had never thought I would be in a serious relationship with just one person, especially after Rinna. Janan has brought out the best in me, even though at first I tried to kill her."

"A half hearted attempt on her life, from what I remember her telling me," Morrigan added with a sly smirk. "I was privvy to 'girl talk'. It did not seem appropriate to speak of it to Leliana or Wynne, so she came to me about it. At first I did not enjoy the conversations, but before long I found myself hoping she would come talk to me. I may not have agreed with every choice she made during the Blight, but I respect her, and am proud to call her friend."

"What all did you two speak about during this girl talk, hmm?" Zevran asked.

"If you are implying we spoke about sex, you would be wrong. Janan was very private on that matter, and I did not pry. However from the sounds that came out of your tent I am sure we all know how it went. I could hear from the other side the camp. One must wonder how anything was accomplished. Or when either of you found time to sleep."

"How you flatter me, Morrigan." Morrigan rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Kieran who was starting to nod off as he played with his toys. "It is time for a nap, little man." Morrigan got up from her chair and carried Kieran into the other room. Zevran settled himself into the chair and leaned back, closing his eyes and falling into a light doze. It had been a while since he'd gotten a full night's sleep and grabbing a quick nap sounded like a good idea.

Once out in the wilds Janan fell back onto old hunting techniques. The area immediately around the hut was unaffected by the taint from the Blight, but the farther she walked away the more and more she saw the signs of where the darkspawn had surged forward to overrun Ostagar. The plant life was slowly growing back, but mostly it was dead. There were animal trails from animals passing through, looking for food. It was unlikely that she'd find anything bigger than a few rabbits. Instead of heading far out in search of game Janan headed back toward the hut, that was where she was most likely going to see her quarry.

Sure enough when she circled back she spotted a couple hares sniffing at the grass and nibbling. Janan fell back onto her old skills easily and she treaded through the grass silently, getting into position to shoot the animal in the head. She positioned herself so she had a clear shot of both of the animals. Slowly and smoothly she pulled the arrows from her quiver and strung one. The string pulled back easily and she let the arrow fly. As soon as the arrow left her bow she was stringing the second one and aiming at the second hare. Same as the first the arrow flew and both rabbits were dead.

Her task done Janan gathered up the rabbits and found a good log to sit on. The knife she'd gotten as a heirloom from her parents who had died was always kept sharp and she used it to make short work of the rabbits. They were thin and most likely wouldn't make a very good stew but it was better than nothing. They could throw in some of the dried rations they'd brought with them if they needed to. 

At some point during her skinning and butchering of the animals Janan's thoughts turned back onto the information that Morrigan had given her. She was pregnant and the child was accelerating the rate at which the taint in her blood was growing. If she didn't get a cure or die trying she'd turn into a broodmother, the sickening creature she'd had to fight in the Deep Roads. There had been many things that induced nightmares from during the Blight, but none of them had stuck with her like the broodmother. It was an awful twist on giving life and just thinking about it sent her heart racing and her chest tightened. 

"Stop dwelling," Janan whispered to herself as she finished up the first hare. "Dwelling never solved anything. You have to act, make a choice, follow through, save yourself. Save your child." Janan bit her lip. Being pregnant was a surreal thought. She knew it could happen but the chances were astronomically low, she hadn't worried about it. Now that she knew she was pregnant she was terrified. There were assassins after her, potentially there were assassins after Zevran. Ferelden was still recuperating from the Blight, and any child from her and Zevran would most likely be hunted just as they were. 

A wave of uncertainty washed over her. For the first time since becoming a Grey Warden she had no idea what the future held.

"You know what you have to do. You cobbled together an army, you stopped the Fifth Blight. You can handle a ritual to cure yourself." The rabbits were finished and Janan tossed the remains to the side, any scavengers in the area would no doubt be on them in a few hours. Without another thought toward the situation that she found herself in Janan headed inside to hand over the meat to Morrigan.


	6. Chapter 6

Light shone in the window, sprawling across the ceiling as the sun slowly started its climb. Janan watched it and let out a sigh. She had maybe gotten two hours of scream plagued sleep. This close to where the Darkspawn had broken out of the Deep Roads the taint was strong, and it was calling to the taint inside of her. She much preferred the whispers over the screams.

Before Zevran could wake up and ask how she'd slept she slipped out of bed and into the main room. Morrigan and Kieran were both still asleep in the other bedroom. Janan took the left over stew and started heating it up over the fire again. It would make a fine breakfast. Once the fire was going Janan sat down in a hard wooden chair and watched the fire. Losing herself in her thoughts was as close to sleep as she was going to get until they were out of the Korcari Wilds. 

"Tis surprising to see you awake so early," Morrigan commented as she came out of the bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind her. "I recall many a time when people had to dodge arrows when trying to wake you." Janan chuckled.

"What can I say? I wasn't a morning person. Life in Vigil's Keep changed that." Morrigan raised an eyebrow at her.

"That is only part of it, I gather. You didn't sleep well, did you?" Janan sighed and shook her head. There had been too many hours of girl talk between them and Morrigan had learned to tell when Janan was holding things back. 

"No, the whispers aren't whispers here. They're screams, I slept a few hours before I couldn't take it anymore. It is the proximity to all the taint around," Janan explained.

"I see. Will you be leaving soon?" 

"As soon as we figure out how we're going to do this," Janan responded. "Hopefully we can make this as fast as possible. I don't fancy crossing the Waking Sea with my belly out to here." Janan held her arms out in front of her. She smiled half heartedly and then got up again. "I don't know his I'm more afraid of, parenthood, labor, or what happens if I'm not cured," Janan confessed.

"You will be cured, and then you can raise your child with Zevran. Before you go off on this newest journey you should probably talk to him about all of this. I know you are not an emotional woman, but Zevran should know your doubts and fears, they affect him as well." Morrigan set her hand down on Janan's shoulder, a rare show of friendship and then checked on the stew. Seeing that it was warm enough Morrigan grabbed the bowls from the night before, refilled them and gave Janan two. "Talk with him." Janan nodded her head and walked back into the bedroom she had barely slept in.

"I see you are already up, mi amor," Zevran said. His voice was thick with sleep and he looked as if he could use another few hours. Janan imagined that she looked the same way, just ten times worse. 

"Yes. I think we need to talk about all of this, before we leave," Janan said as she held out the bowl to him. Zevran frowned slightly, sat up, and took the bowl from her. Janan sat down on the edge of the bed and stared into her stew. "For the first time since the Blight, I'm afraid," Janan blurted. "I'm afraid what I'll become if I'm not cured. I'm afraid I'm going to be a horrible parent. I'm afraid of labor. It wasn't uncommon in my clan for the mothers to die during birth. I'm afraid of losing you. We never talked about having children, I don't even know if you actually want this child." Zevran set the bowl of stew down on the bed and moved to sit next to Janan, who hadn't touched her stew.

"Janan," Zevran started, his voice even and full of love, "I can't pretend to know what it feels like to know that you could become a broodmother, but I have been there when you scream yourself awake from the nightmares, it kills me that I cannot banish that fear. I will do everything in my power to make sure that it doesn't happen to you. I have see the way you take care of the Wardens under you, you take better care of them than you do yourself, you will be a wonderful mother. The poor child is going to have me for a father. I am dysfunctional at the best of times, it will be an uphill battle, harder than fighting the Archdemon, to make sure that our child doesn't act like me. If Morrigan can have a child on her own and survive birth, you can too. You are the strongest, toughest, more terrifying woman I have ever known. Labor will be the easy part, the sleepless nights will be the worst of it, I'm sure." Zevran wrapped an arm around Janan's shoulders and pulled her closer to him. "As for wanting a child, I never expected it. I never thought I would survive the Crows, and I certainly never thought that you would get pregnant. Now that you are, I'm looking forward to seeing what we made together. We will get through this together, just like we have everything else, I promise." Janan let out a small sob and looked at him. There were tears in her eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I can't believe I'm crying, I don't cry." Zevran chuckled.

"It is fine to be emotional. Your entire world was turned upside down in one day. We will get through this together, mi amor. Now eat your stew because you're eating for two." Janan snorted and wiped at her eyes. 

"I'm going to be so fat. I'm trying to think of a way to blame this on you, but it is equally my fault." Janan ate a spoonful of stew. It tasted the same as it had the night before, if a little colder because of their conversation.

"It will just mean there is more of you to love." Janan chocked on her food and glared up at Zevran who was doing his best not to laugh. He failed and started laughing. Once her throat was clear of stew Janan elbowed him in the side. 

"That was not funny."

"I am sorry, but it was very funny." Janan ignored him and continued eating. "You won't show for some time, there is no point in worrying about it now."

"I don't like the idea of not being able to wear my armor. After a year of practically living in it during the Blight, and then having to wear the ceremonial armor while getting Vigil's Keep up and running I feel naked without it on. Not to mention I have assassins after me, that armor is more than likely going to save my life. I can't wear it if I'm fat!" Janan lamented.

"With any luck all of this will be solved before you are too big to wear your armor, you worry too much. I'm sure you will look just as lovely then as you do now." Janan side eyed him. "Yes?"

"Nothing, eat up, this is probably the last warm meal we're going to have for a while." Janan took her empty bowl out of the room and back into the main living area of the hut. Morrigan had a couple maps on the table and she was glancing over them.

"Everything sorted, I presume?" Morrigan asked as she looked up. Janan nodded her head and set the bowl down in one of the wooden chairs around the table. Zevran had followed her out, still eating the stew. "Good. We should think about your route." The maps were simple ones that only had some of the larger cities and ports on it. 

"Haven is here, as is the Urn," Janan said as she pointed to the Frostback Mountains. "It will probably take a couple weeks to get there. From there we should probably think about going up toward the Waking Sea. Maybe grabbing a ride in Jader." She moved her finger from the mountains to the port city of Jader. 

"You want to go into Orlais when the House of Repose is hunting you?" Zevran asked. 

"Would you expect me to go to Antiva if the Crows were hunting me?" Zevran shook his head. "See? It's probably the safest place for me at the moment. Or it will be once I lose the Grey Warden armor. I don't want to make this easy on them."

"How, per chance, do you propose crossing the border?" Morrigan asked.

"Slip across in the middle of the night and then act like we have belong there," Zevran answered easily as he finished up his stew. "We go to Haven, get the ashes, go North to Jader, slip across the border, hop on a boat, land in Kirkwall, find the Blood mages we need, drag them back if we have to, and then we do the ritual here."

"Sounds like a plan. Hopefully the House of Repose doesn't screw it up," Janan muttered under her breath. 

"You are no stranger to improvising, this will be nothing compared to the Fifth Blight," Morrigan proclaimed.

"Now that you've said that it is all going to go horribly wrong," Janan muttered.

"We work best when it is all going horribly wrong, no?" Janan glared at the smiling Zevran. She hated that he was right.


	7. Chapter 7

Janan let out a frustrated sigh as she turned her horse Northward. Zevran followed suit, knowing what that sigh meant. There was a group of darkspawn that hadn't retreated back to the Deep Roads after the Blight, they were in an area that had hit pretty hard by the Blight still, it wasn't unsurprising that in this remote area that there were still darkspawn roaming around. The Wardens had done their best to seal off the entrances and stop them from coming back up but they were spread thin and it wasn't surprising that they'd missed one.

"Damn it," Janan growled as she turned her horse back toward where the darkspawn were and drew her bow. "Hope you're ready for a fight, it feels like there is an Alpha, maybe an emissary," Janan stated. Zevran nodded his head and took out his longer swords instead of his daggers. Getting too close meant potentially getting the taint, he doubted that Janan would allow him to die like that. Instead she'd bring him into the Wardens right then and there and in the end they'd probably have to choose who was cured. Janan would never let it be herself if he were a Warden. Her self-sacrificing nature was endearing, until it ended up getting her killed. 

"Don't push yourself too hard," Zevran commented. "If it gets tough we'll flee." Janan glanced over at him and nodded her head. He sighed anyway, knowing that it would never happen even if she agreed to it. It wasn't hard to see that her pregnancy wasn't wholly accepted yet, it was a distant possibility, even if Morrigan had already told her it was true. Once she started showing Janan's attitude would more than likely completely change, but she'd still go jumping into danger, just danger that wasn't as deadly as normal. She wasn't that hard to figure out. 

"I'll draw their attention, you sneak up from behind," Janan ordered. Zevran nodded and slipped off of his horse. He pulled it off to the side, tied it to a dead tree and then disappeared. Janan saw the tiny shimmer of him sneaking around the back of the darkspawn and she pushed her nervous horse forward. Once she was close enough to see them gathered around a corpse of what looked like an older man Janan pulled back her arrow and sighted in on the closest one. The bow was tilted slightly upwards to get the distance it needed and she let it fly. Once the arrow was loosed Janan drew a small knife from her belt with her left hand. She gripped her bow again, keeping the dagger in her hand still and strung another arrow just as the first impacted the darkspawn in the back of the head. Her aim had been true and the darkspawn slumped forward over the corpse dead. 

Screeches and cries went up from the darkspawn and they whirled to look at her. She gave them a wicked smile. They were covered in dark red blood and a few of them had pieces of flesh still in their hands. They dropped the flesh and took up their swords. Janan watched as they swarmed toward her and kept her horse steady even though it was ready to flee. It let out worried noises and shifted from foot to foot, ready to take off at a sprint. 

There was a plume of black smoke as Zevran jumped out of the shadows and embedded his short sword deep into a darkspawn's neck, angling it downward so that it hit important organs. It let out a screech of pain that drew the attention of the other charging darkspawn and Zevran silenced it forever with a violent twist of the sword. Janan started peppering the other darkspawn with arrows, hitting them in spots where their armor was too thin to stop her arrow or there was none. Their time together during the Blight had done nothing but sharpen her already scary skill with the bow to a skill so deadly he could see her becoming the boogey man of assassins. They'd never see her coming because she didn't need to be close to her target. She'd also developed an almost supernatural sense of knowing when arrows were coming for her. There had been a couple times when she'd even caught the arrow by sheer reflex.

Confused and worried the darkspawn spent a moment glancing back and forth between Janan on her horse and Zevran with his swords. Without an Archdemon to direct them at a target they weren't sure what to do. They used it to their advantage. Zevran slipped his sword into their necks while they tried to figure out who to attack and Janan shot them. Finally they decided to take out the closest one to them and focused in on Zevran. 

Zevran dodged a blade and stepped into the swinging arm of another darkspawn. This one had no armor past its arm. Without ease that came from years of training Zevran set his dagger to the joint of the darkspawns arm and slammed it down. There was cracking bone and a deep cut as dark black blood slipped out between his blade and the cut flesh. Zevran didn't stop there, instead he grabbed the darkspawn's arm and pulled. The arm came apart at the elbow and the blood poured out of the darkspawn. He would have let out a triumphant noise but he'd learned to keep his mouth shut when in close quarters with the darkspawn, he didn't want to get their blood in his mouth. 

The darkspawn cried out in a pain and stumbled back, trying to stop the blood from pouring out of the stump that had once been its arm. Zevran chucked the severed limb at the pained darkspawn and set in on another. The next darkspawn was better armored than the previous one had been, if this had been a horde this darkspawn would have been in charge of a small group, probably a scouting group.

It came at Zevran with a large two handed axe. It swung down toward him and Zevran dodged to the side and slipped in close. He stabbed several times but his blade never found flesh, he was too well armored. The only exposed pieces of flesh were the darkspawn's face and he couldn't get a clean shot on it without opening himself up to more attacks from the others. Zevran danced back out of the group and disappeared again. They were searching for him but he moved slowly and quietly, making sure not to reveal himself.

Janan had watched Zevran sever the darkspawn's arm and knew that it would bleed out soon enough, it wasn't a threat anymore. The biggest problem was the darkspawn with the two handed axe. She narrowed her eyes and then whistled loudly, drawing their attention back to her. It looked at her and her arrow flew in an arc, hitting the darkspawn in the eye. It wasn't fatal, but it was painful. It would at least give Zevran an opening to take it out.

The ground beneath her horse started rumbling and Janan looked down just in time to see a large hand shoot up out of the ground and grab her horse, trapping her leg to the horse's side. There was no change of her getting away unless she wanted to break her leg. Instead Janan took the dagger she'd had the foresight to grab and started stabbing fingers. There were pained noises and the ogre clawed the rest of the way out of the ground. Once it was free and on stable ground it flipped her horse and Janan welt flying. 

She landed on the ground ten feet away from her horse who was getting back up to its feet. The ogre didn't give it a chance, instead it grabbed a leg and broke it. It let out a pained scream and Janan flinched. There was nothing worse than hearing an animal in pain. With its leg broken it was essentially useless, the ogre on the other hand didn't let the horse live long enough for her to put it down. It stepped on the horse's head, crushing it in a pulpy, bloody, boney mess and focused in on her. Janan got to her feet as quickly as she could and slipped her bow over her head, letting it hang off of one of her shoulders. 

In an ideal situation she'd have a group of people who were going to help her take down the ogre by needling it to death, but this wasn't an ideal situation. It was as far from ideal as it got. Zevran had his own group of darkspawn to deal with and she had the ogre. 

"It's a good thing I am in a very, very bad mood," Janan stated as she pulled another dagger out of her boot and held them ready. Daggers weren't the weapon she favored the most, but she'd been learning from Zevran and she was decent with them. Where he wielded them with finesse and deadly precision she wielded them with high hope and good luck. She knew all the weak points to hit, but she didn't like getting in close. Zevran had years of training to get good at slipping away from hits just before they hit but she wasn't so fortunate. In order to land a good hit she'd probably have to take one herself. "Let's get this fucking over with."

Zevran heard the pained cry of the horse and looked over to see Janan getting to her feet and the ogre smashing the horse's head. His eyes went wide at the scene. Janan was about to take on an ogre by herself. It wasn't completely unheard of it, but it was very, very stupid. Zevran felt a sword glance over a thick park of his armor and got his head back into the fight. Instead of taking his time and making sure that his hits mattered Zevran started attacking with harder hits and more speed. It would make him tired faster but he couldn't let Janan take on the ogre by herself.

There were four darkspawn left in the group, one with a broadsword, the two handed axe wielding one, and two with short swords and shields. Zevran smirked as he decided his course of action. Zevran kept his swords out and then went to stand in front of one of the darkspawn with a short sword and shield. The axe wielding darkspawn let out a scream at him and swung the axe down in a large arc. Zevran dodged to the side and grabbed the shield of the darkspawn, throwing it straight into the path of the axe. The axe hit the other darkspawn cleaving its head in two down to the collar bone, the darkspawn died instantly. Three left.

Startled cries went up from the remaining darkspawn but the one in charge didn't bat an eye instead it planted its foot in the chest of the dead one and pulled the axe free with a squelching sound. Blood and brain and bone littered the ground and it turned to focus in on Zevran again. Zevran was already running at it and took a flying leap at it. The momentum drove them both to the ground and Zevran slammed his short sword into the remaining eye, hitting deep. There were a few twitches as it died but after that it went still. Two left.

The one with a broadsword swung at Zevran not letting him recover his sword in the skull. He was now one weapon down and facing two different enemies, one with a shield. It wasn't the best situation but he'd been in worse, and this time he had an idea. Zevran moved and disappeared. The two left were looking around trying to spot him. He took up a position behind the darkspawn with the shield, who had lowered it while looking for him. Zevran took another running charge at its back and threw it forward, into the darkspawn with the sword. It flailed, arms wind-milling trying to stop the crash into the other darkspawn. They both tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs. They tried to get their bearings but Zevran jumped on top of them, pinning them to the ground and slammed his long sword into their necks, severing their spines and killing them. 

His work with the group done Zevran grabbed his blades and turned his attention to Janan and the ogre.

Janan ran at the ogre, using her agility to her advantage. Ogres were fast but only in a straight line and when you gave them room to charge. If she got in close she'd have the advantage, but it also meant getting hit was easier and would more than likely hurt more than she'd like it to. She was no stranger to pain, but that didn't mean she had to like it. 

Once inside the ogres area Janan set to work on hindering it. She went for the tendons at the back of its knees and started slashing. The skin was thick and each swipe of her dagger only did minimal damage, it didn't even seem to notice that she was trying to attack it. It reached down for her, between its legs and tried to grab her. Janan slipped away and slashed at the tendons in its wrist. It wasn't human, or an elf, but it was the same basic shape meaning it had to have some muscles and tendons that were the same. Or at least it was a safe bet.

The skin at the wrist proved to be thinner than the back of the knee and her dagger cut skin, down to bone. It let out a roar of pain and pulled its hand back. It tried to move its fingers but found that it could. The ogre let out another roar, this one of anger and used its other hand to try to grab at her. Janan was waiting for it and jumped onto it. She scaled the arm to the shoulder and then went for the throat. It seemed to know what was coming and batted her aside with its useless hand. Janan just managed to turn her body so she took the hit on her side instead of in the fact. She flew from the ogre and hit the ground hard. Air rushed out of her lungs when she hit leaving her breathless and a bit dazed. It took her a second to get her wits about her, but by that time the ogre was charging at her. 

Janan's eyes went wide as she stared at the charging ogre. She was still a bit dazed and getting her body to move was harder than it was normally.

"Janan!" Zevran's voice came at her from the side and she was hit again, this time by Zevran who just managed to get them out of the way. He rolled to his feet easily and Janan laid there on the ground, sore and knew that it would be nothing compared to what she was going to feel later. "You alright?" He kept his eyes on the ogre who was looking around for its prey. Ogres weren't smart but they were strong.

"Yeah, thanks," Janan said as she got to her feet. She shook her head to clear it and then gave him a smile. Every part of her was starting to throb, she was undoubtedly bruised, more from the ogre than anything. "Can you distract it?"

"How long?" Zevran asked. Janan tilted her head to the side a second and thought about it.

"Two minutes," Janan answered. Zevran nodded his head and then whistled at the ogre while Janan moved around to the back. She kept herself out of the ogre's vision and once she was behind it she took a deep breath. "Time to end this," she whispered. Janan broke out into a sprint and charged at the ogre. When she was close enough she jumped and landed on the ogre's back, using her daggers to anchor her. It let out a howl of pain and tried to grab her but she dodged and continued her climb upwards. Once she was on its shoulders she sat down, putting one leg on either side of its neck. Hidden behind its massive head and stabbed her daggers deep in the pulse points that she'd found using her legs. The ogre let out a scream of pain and Janan removed her daggers. With both arteries open it wouldn't last long, especially with its blood pumping the way it was. Janan jumped from its back, hit the ground and rolled. Pain lanced up her back from the bruise it had given her and she turned to watch it fall to the ground. Black blood pouring from the dagger wounds in its neck.

Only when it was completely still did Janan let out her breath. She sank down to the ground and laid there. Zevran moved to sit beside her. Janan gave him a weak smile.

"Guess that alpha was an ogre," Janan muttered. "Damn thing clawed its way from the ground and killed my horse. The next time I decide to take on darkspawn, stop me. Really, knock me out and carry me away. I am so sick of those nightmares. Sometimes I wish the Keeper had let me die. Tamlen wasn't as lucky as me," Janan added a sad note in her voice. She and Tamlen had been close growing up and they'd both been tainted. Tamlen had become a ghoul and Janan ended up putting him out of his misery. That had been a trying time, killing her childhood friend. 

"I'm sure if the Archdemon had seen you coming it would have turned tail and ran," Zevran stated. "You are a force to be reckoned with, anyone can see that." Janan let out a small laugh and then sat up, wincing as the muscles in her back moved. "Let's get out of here so I can look at you, yes?" Zevran asked. Janan nodded her head and held a hand out for Zevran to help her up. He did and they walked back to her very dead horse. She grabbed the necessary things and then walked with Zevran to his horse. They both hopped on and headed west again.


	8. Chapter 8

Night fell as they came upon a small farm. The house was destroyed, burned to the ground with only a few posts standing to prove that it was a house once. There was a barn in a field that was in better condition and they headed toward it. The horse trudged slowly, tired from hauling the both of them along. 

They slipped inside of the barn and gave it a quick once over. Spiders had made homes in the high rafters and in the horse stalls, there looked to be termites in some of the wood and there was a hole in the roof from where it had caved in some time ago, but other than that it wasn’t in terrible condition. It would be fine for a night. 

“Can you help me out of my armor, Zev?” Janan asked after she cleared some space in the center walk way. Zev nodded his head and pulled their bedrolls off the horse. “Grab some bandages, you have to help wrap my torso. That damn ogre broke at least one of my ribs,” Janan commented.

“What?” Zevran asked in surprise. Janan glanced over to him. “Why did you tell me before?” Zevran tried to keep the anger and annoyance out of his voice but failed miserably. Janan frowned before letting out a sigh, which she cringed a bit at. 

“We needed to get as far as we could during the day, it was more important that we gain ground.” Zevran let out a frustrated noise.

“You can’t do that anymore.” 

“Do what?”

“Not tell me about serious injuries. You’re pregnant, Janan! You have to be more careful. A serious injury could mean killing the baby. I’d rather not wake up to you screaming in pain in the middle of a miscarriage.” Janan stared at him for a second and nodded her head, looking down at the ground.

“I know,” Janan whispered. “Really, I do. It’s just my ribs, I didn’t think that it would really matter. Besides, they’re not bothering me that bad.” 

“Janan, you have a crazy pain tolerance. Do you remember in the fight with the Archdemon? You were fighting with a broken arm and a fractured skull like it was nothing.” Janan shrugged. “My point is something that isn’t bothering you much can still be serious. From now on, please tell me when you’re hurt.” Janan finally looked up at him and nodded her head.

“I will, I promise.” Zevran nodded his head in acknowledgement and then set to work on helping her out of her armor so she could wrap her torso to keep her from being able to move too much. When her armor was removed Zevran pulled her shirt down and checked her bruises. The bruises were more like one big bruise going from her shoulder to her waist, where she took the full brunt of the ogre’s swing. They were purple and red and looked very tender. “How bad is the bruise?” Janan asked. 

“Bad,” Zevran answered. “It will take a long while for them to fade. It is likely that you will not be able to put your armor back on after this. The swelling will persist for a few days at least.” Janan let out a sigh and stopped suddenly as her chest moved the broken ribs. Slowly she let out the breath and put the pain out of her mind as best she could. 

“The House of Repose will have no idea where we are, so it should be fine. If we get into trouble for whatever reason I will be sure to find some cover and take my shots carefully. Alright, start wrapping, I’m ready.”   
“If I bind it too tight be sure to tell me.” 

“Will do.” Zevran started wrapping the bandages around her torso, she held the end in place on her right side until it was secure and then let go. Zevran made short work of the first roll and grabbed a second just to be sure. He tied the ends together on the second set and handed Janan back her shirt. “Thank you. I’ll take first watch, you get some sleep.” Zevran shook his head and pointed at the bedrolls.

“You will sleep and I will take first watch. You’re the injured party here, get some sleep.” Janan glanced at the bedrolls and felt a longing to crawl into hers.

“Alright, wake me if anything happens.” Janan kissed him on the cheek, which he intercepted with his lips and pulled her in close, being careful of the bruises covering her left side. When they parted there was a light blush on Janan’s cheeks. “What was that for?” Zevran gave her a cocky smile.

“It is a promise of things to come,” Zevran answered. Janan smirked.

“If it is as good as the kiss, I can’t wait.” With a laugh Janan headed over to her bedroll and stretched it out across the ground. She laid down on top of it and pulled a blanket over her, easing herself down so lay on her right side and then closed her eyes. Zevran watched her a few minutes and when she was asleep he moved to sit in the door way, looking out into the night. He stared one minute and then moved over to the horse to strip it of the saddle and the saddle bags. It deserved to have a little break. The horse shook itself before it left the barn through the door and went to find something to munch on.   
Zevran settled himself down into the doorway of the barn and stared into the night, looking for anything that seemed weird and out of place. The only thing he saw moving in the night were far off trees, swaying slightly in the wind. The area was abnormally quiet, but it wasn’t the quiet of impending danger, it was the quiet of abandonment. The area had been abandoned during the blight and even the animals hadn’t really made it back yet. 

Zevran stayed up four hours before moving to wake Janan. She was still on her right side, keeping her weight off of the left. Zevran had been lucky enough to be an assassin, slipping in and slitting throats before things made it into a brawl, he’d been hurt before, but never so bad as Janan seemed to get it. 

“Mi amor,” Zevran said as he gently shook her, being careful to not press too hard on her bruises. “Wake up, it is your watch.” Janan groaned and sat up. There was a pained look on her face for a moment as she moved. Now that the adrenaline had fully worn off she was feeling everything more. “Even when you look terrible you are still beautiful.” Janan snorted and then got to her feet, vacating her bedroll for him. It’d save them time in the morning. 

Awake and moving, barely, Janan headed for the barn doors where they’d come in and scanned the night. Everything was still and she sensed no darkspawn. Satisfied that there was nothing going on in the night on this side of the barn, Janan headed to the back to check on the horse, it was sleeping fifty feet from the barn. 

“Got to find a new horse,” Janan muttered to herself. With one last scan of the area Janan headed back into the barn to sit on the side with the road. If someone was going to come at them it was most likely going to be on the side with the road. She settled herself in for the watch, leaning her back against the barn door and kept her eyes and ears open for anything.

 

When the sun started coming up over the hills Janan got to her feet and walked over to wake up Zevran. She tapped him a couple times on the nose with a finger and when he opened one of his eyes she smiled at him.

“Good morning,” Janan said. Zevran sat up and smiled back.

“It is always a good morning when you are the first thing that I see,” Zevran responded. “Seeing that we are both awake and well nothing happened during the night.” Janan nodded her head. “Good. Now we must talk about the horse.”

“I know, he can’t keep carrying both of us,” Janan said. “Hopefully we will find a farm with a horse we can purchase. I would even take a donkey at this point. With all the horses that I end up losing or getting killed I’m surprised I’m allowed to take a horse at all.” 

“That is because you are the Warden Commander, mi amor.”

“Ah, yes, that impressive title that is a bigger pain in my ass than you are,” Janan commented dryly.

“I vividly remember telling you that we did not have to do that if you did not want to,” Zevran started. Janan quickly held up her hand, blushing more than she had in a while and shook her head. 

“That is not what I meant and you know it!” Janan exclaimed as she straightened. Zevran chuckled.

“I know what you meant, but it is much more fun to see you flustered.” 

“You are an ass, Zev,” Janan muttered and gave him a smile anyway. 

“Ah, but that is why you love me.”

“One of many. Let’s get going. I’ll get the horse saddled.” 

 

The farther west they traveled the more and more plant life they had been seeing. They were gradually passing out of the blightlands and into areas that hadn’t been hit as hard. Food would be more plentiful and they’d be able to eat something aside from rabbit and the dried goods they’d brought with them. They would also be able to drink more seeing as the water wouldn’t be tainted. 

“Should we see if they have a horse?” Janan asked from behind Zevran. They had tried riding with Janan in the front but the gait of the horse had made it impossible for Zevran to not touch the bruises. After an hour of trying they’d switched places leaving Zevran to control the horse. 

“It would be a good idea. Would you like to do the talking or should I?” Zevran asked. Janan thought about it. 

“You can, you are more of a people person than I am,” Janan answered. Zevran nodded his head and altered the course to take them nearer to the house. When they got closer a man stepped out onto the small porch, bow in hand with an arrow ready. Zevran slipped off the horse, leaving his obvious weapons behind and Janan up on the horse. Janan could tell that this man would shoot in an instant if he felt he needed to.

“I can see that you are not happy to have visitors, but I come asking only a question,” Zevran said. He’d changed his accent from Antiva to pure Ferelden. It was a skill that Janan had yet to get good at. “Do you have a horse that we might purchase from you?” Zevran asked.

“How do I know that you actually intend to purchase a horse and not just steal from me?” the man asked. Janan frowned, she wasn’t surprised that there had been thieves in the area.

“We have coin,” Janan said from atop the horse. The man finally pulled his eyes away from Zevran and looked at her. She grabbed the coin purse from the bags and held it up for him, opening it enough to show that it was filled with gold. “We just need another horse, this one can’t keep carrying us both.” She did her best to look pitiful and weak, but the distrust was already there. He’d been robbed, she was Dalish, and while it might not be vallslin, the man thought that was what marked Zevran’s face. Dalish elves with that much gold would set off immediate flags in his head. 

“And who did you steal that from?” Janan sighed and slipped off the horse going to stand next to Zevran. 

“We didn’t steal it, my wife was a talented seamstress,” Zevran answered. There was a small flutter in her chest at the word wife. “She earned it.” Janan was glad that he hadn’t mentioned that she was a Warden, but at the same time it would probably have been easier to get his cooperation if she admitted that she was.

“You just came out of the blightlands, you have to know how to fight to make it out of there alive. Bandits, that is what you are.”

“No, sir, we aren’t. In truth I am a Warden. My horse was killed by darkspawn and I am looking to replace it. This coin is mine sure as that bow is yours. I’m willing to pay handsomely for the horse if you’ll let me,” Janan explained. She moved slowly up to the steps of the porch and set the bag of coins down on the top most step and then moved back. He watched her, keeping the bow ready at all times. He looked at the purse and thought about it. 

“Fine. There is one horse that I can spare. Saddle and horse are out in the stable. I will be watching you the entire time. One wrong move and I put one between your eyes.” Janan resisted the urge to laugh. The man wouldn’t be able to get an arrow between her eyes if she was standing five feet in front of him.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Janan moved toward the edge of the house, making herself as nonthreatening as possible and headed to the barn with Zevran following behind, bringing the horse along. 

The saddle was where the man had said it was and the horse allowed her to saddle it without problems. After a few seconds getting to know the horse she hopped on top and rode the horse out of the stall. She gave the man a smile as she rode past and they headed for the road once Zevran was back up on the horse. 

“Poor man,” Janan commented. “Hopefully the gold will help him get back onto his feet. We can step up the pace now, make up some ground that was lost now.”

“We will be in Haven soon,” Zevran said with a smile.

“Yes, and we will find a nice bed to sleep in and then I will have my way with you,” Janan stated with a sly grin. “Many times.” 

“Ah, now you are speaking my language. Perhaps I can get a preview of what’s to come?” he asked hopefully. Janan’s smile changed from sly to wicked. 

“The wait will make the reward all the better, Zev. Isn’t that what you said the one time you tied me up and left me alone for an hour?” Janan asked as she thought about it. “I am very certain that is what you said.”

“This is the revenge you promised, yes?”

“Very much so.”


	9. Chapter 9

Haven came into view just before they were getting ready to settle in for the night. It had been three weeks since they'd gotten the new horse and left the blightlands behind them and during that time Janan had started getting morning sickness. It was hard to keep anything but dried fruit and water down and the smell of cooking meat made her gag. Zevran had taken to cooking and Janan choked a little down before nibbling on the dried fruit.

"We could keep pushing," Janan commented to Zevran who was riding beside her. "Get there tonight and find a place to hole up."

"As much as I would like to sleep in an actual bed we should wait until morning to get there. If something or someone has taken up residence it would be best to fight them when we can see them, yes?" Zevran knew that Janan would give in without much of a fight, he had a point. 

"You're right," Janan responded. She pulled her horse to a stop and then slid off. Instead of moving immediately she leaned against the horse for a few seconds, getting her head to stop spinning. "Why is it called morning sickness if it strikes any time of the day?" Janan shook her head a bit before pulling her bedroll off of the horse. Then she took the saddle off and plopped it down on the ground.

"To make you ask such questions," Zevran answered with a chuckle. Janan glared at him a bit and then sighed as she sank down onto the ground. "Are you feeling well, mi amor?" Zevran asked. 

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit tired and hungry, and at the same time the thought of any food I actually like makes me want to vomit. If this is what being pregnant is like this is the only child we're having. If I get cured and get pregnant again, I am blaming it all on you and your demon penis." Zevran burst out laughing and Janan pouted.

"It takes two to make a baby, Janan."

"No, I blame your demon penis, and your insatiable sex drive." Zevran continued to laugh as he unsaddled his own horse. Saddle in hand he moved over to set it down on the ground and then sit beside Janan. She moved closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and just enjoying the moment. "You know I love you, right?" Janan asked.

"Of course I know," Zevran answered. "If you didn't love me I doubt you would tolerate me and my demon penis. Or my insatiable sex drive." Janan chuckled and nodded her head.

"It is such a big sacrifice, but you are worth it." She gently nudged him and set a hand over her stomach. It had finally sank in that she was pregnant, it was hard for it not to. Puking every time she smelled meat and she had also noticed that her breasts were getting tender. Wisely she had decided to not tell Zevran about that side effect because she was sure he'd use that to his advantage when it came to bedroom activities.

"I thank you most humbly," Zevran said. "Should we get a fire going?" Janan opened one eye and looked up at the moon. It was full and bright. The only way someone would be able to sneak up on them was if they tunneled under the ground. It was also quite warm, there wasn't really a need for a fire. 

"No, we should be alright. I will take first watch," Janan volunteered. She sat up and opened her eyes, going from a content, relaxed state to alert and aware. "I'll wake you if anything so much as looks like it is coming toward us," Janan promised. She gave him a peck on the cheek and then got to her feet. Over the last three weeks the bruises had faded to ugly green and yellow blotches, and her ribs were feeling much better. They were on the mend but if she moved in the wrong way she'd still get a stabbing pain in her side.

Janan positioned herself between their camp and road and watched carefully while she heard Zevran settle into a more comfortable position on the ground behind her. They were close to the mountains and soft ground that wasn't covered in rocks and pebbles was becoming harder and harder to find. It meant sleeping on rocks that dug in while you were sleeping and not getting a very good rest. Even though she didn't want to admit it, she was having a bit of nostalgia from traveling with the group during the Blight. Even though it had been them against the world they'd had good times and she had good memories. There had been some people she'd been closer to than others, but they had all been friends. 

Of the group she missed Alistair the most. They had been the only Wardens in the beginning and she had enjoyed having him around. He made her laugh and would tell her stories about what it had been like to be a Warden when there wasn't a Blight. It had been weird being the newest Warden and being in charge, but it became apparent that Alistair wasn't leader material yet. He'd grown into being a Warden and later a King during the hardships that they'd undergone.

Her watch passed quickly with nothing happening. She woke Zevran and then laid down in the bedroll, barely giving him enough time to move before she closed her eyes and started drifting off to sleep. Zevran chuckled even though he was tired and got up to find a good place to sit.

His watch was just as uneventful as Janan's was and when the sun started lightening the sky he walked over to Janan to shake her awake. She batted his hand away and tried to continue sleeping but he shook her again and she sat up. There were circles under her eyes and she looked annoyed. 

"If you were literally anyone else I would stab you with an arrow," Janan stated as she got up and stretched. Her back cracked several times and she shook the sleep from her head. It was time to wake up and get to Haven. There was a chance that they were going to have to fight and if that was the case it was best to get it done as soon as possible. "Shouldn't take more than an hour to get there." 

"Yes, and then we can find a real bed and take a day to rest," Zevran agreed. Janan opened her mouth to say something but he held up his hand to stop her. "No, we will take a day to rest before we get the Urn. We can spare a day for resting up." 

"You're right. I'm not looking forward to getting to Jader to get on a boat to cross the Waking Sea," Janan added. "I think it is going to kill me. Just thinking about the waves going up and down and the gentle sway of the boat makes me-" Janan gagged a bit and shook her head, clearing the thoughts of the boat from her mind. "Nope, can't think about it. Let's just get to Haven, and find a real bed. Hopefully they haven't been infested with mice or something."

"Be positive, mi amor! Once we have an actual bed you may ravish me in any manner you please. I will be at your command."

"I command you to let me sleep."

"That does sound quite nice."

"Knowing us I don't think that day to rest is going to involve actual resting," Janan added. 

"We will definitely tire ourselves out to get a good night's sleep," Zevran chimed happily. Janan grinned and then set to work on getting her horse ready. Zevran did the same.

An hour later they arrived at Haven. The town was abandoned. It was obvious that no one had lived there in a while. Janan guessed that they abandoned the town not too long after they had left the first time. Even though the town was abandoned the houses looked to be in good condition. There was a good chance that there would be an actual bed in one of the houses that wasn't torn to shreds by the mice. 

It was unsettling to be in a town that was almost completely devoid of life. There were plants growing out of control in places, but there were no animals and no people. Towns were supposed to have people going about their days, buying goods, moving from place to place, tending to fields, or gardens. There was supposed to be motion all around, but everything was still. 

"Why is it that abandoned towns always make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end?" Janan asked. Zevran nodded his agreement. "Let's check out that house, there is a closed in yard so the horses won't get lost in the streets." Janan pointed at a decently sized house. It looked like it had belonged to someone important before it had been abandoned. Once upon a time the yard was probably well kept and drew compliments from people as they walked by. Now everything was over grown, including the rose bush that looked like it had thorns big enough to use as arrow heads. 

They left the horses in the fenced in yard and headed inside the house, intending to check it out to make sure it was livable. Spiders had left their webs in the corners of the rooms and there was a thick layer of dust that settled over everything. It reminded her a lot of Vigil's Keep when the Wardens had first moved in. It hadn't taken long for that place to start feeling like home. There was no chance they would be in Haven long enough for it to feel like home, but it felt safer than anywhere else they'd been sleeping for a while. 

Zevran headed upstairs while Janan checked out the pantry and anywhere else food might have been kept. He glanced through the rooms, there was a small bedroom on the side of the house, but at the back of the house he found the master bedroom. The bed in there was big enough for two and looked mostly untouched by mice. There were a couple holes that they had chewed in the sides to get at the stuffing in the middle but most of it was still in there. A fire place on the other side of the room sat unused, and whoever had lived in the house before hadn't bothered cleaning it out before they'd left. Clearly they didn't expect anyone to come back. 

"Janan, I've found a real bed!" Zevran called. A minute later he heard feet on the stairs and then Janan was standing in the doorway. Her eyes took in the bed and before Zevran could stop her she walked over to the bed, flopped down on it and settled herself in. 

"I'm never moving again," she declared. "It feels like I have fallen into a cloud."

"I will go take care of the horses, you enjoy the bed. When I am finished I think a nap is in order, no?"

"Way ahead of you." Janan rolled onto her right side and curled up on top of the blanket. "Come join me when you're done and we will sleep the day away." Zevran left the room, leaving Janan to sleep, or at least relax on an actual bed. 

When he stepped outside the horses were happily munching on some grass. He started with his own horse, pulling off the saddle and taking it inside before giving it a quick brush down and gave the hooves a quick check. He repeated the same steps with Janan's horse and then went back inside to go lay down next to Janan. He figured that a light doze was in order. 

Zevran stepped into the bedroom and saw that Janan was actually sleeping, curled up on her side. For the first time since they'd left Vigil's Keep she looked calm and peaceful. He hadn't wanted to comment about how tense she was because he knew it would just make it worse. It was good to see her relaxed for once. As soon as she woke up she'd go right back to being tense and worried, taking the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

"Sleep well, mi amor," Zevran whispered as he planted a small kiss on her temple and crawled in next to her. Janan moved closer to him in her sleep and he smiled. Not five minutes later Zevran was dozing beside her.


	10. Chapter 10

Janan woke midmorning the next day. She stretched happily and then looked over to see that the other half of the bed was empty. Zevran wasn’t there. A bit surprised by it she got up and started heading down the stairs when the smell of a fire hit her nose. At first she thought that the village was on fire but she soon realized that something was being cooked. It smelled like eggs and some type of meat. As soon as the smell of meat hit her nose Janan felt her stomach roll and she felt like she was going to be sick. She inhaled through her mouth, held it until the count of ten, and let it out.   
After a minute of breathing and steeling herself against the smell Janan finished walking down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. Zevran was there, cooking eggs and bacon. The eggs looked good enough to make her mouth water and the smell of the meat did little to spoil her appetite for them. 

“Good morning, mi amor!” Zevran said as he grabbed a plate and dished the eggs out onto it. He set it down on the table and Janan took the invitation. “I know you and meat are not on good terms,” Zevran said as he got his own plate and dished out the meat and the rest of the eggs. He sat next to her and began eating with gusto. 

“I miss meat,” Janan sighed as she took a bite of eggs. “Where did you find all of this?” Zevran smiled. 

“There are some hens who have taken over a house a few blocks down, I raided their eggs.” Zevran held up a hand and she saw red welts and a few cuts. “They did not take kindly to me taking their children.” Janan chuckled and shook her head. “As for the meat, there were pigs who were left here from before. They’d gotten out of their pens and have become quite adept at killing the chickens. If the Crows used pigs as assassins, these ones would certainly get the job done.” Janan laughed again. It felt good; it had been too long since the last time she’d laughed like this. “I killed one, and butchered it. Some of the meat is going to spoil though, there is no salt.” 

“That is unfortunate,” Janan said. She ate the last bit of her eggs. “Thank you, for breakfast.” Janan stood up and kissed Zevran on the cheek. She put her dishes into the sink and then started pulling off her armor. Her armor was worn in enough that she could sleep in it, at least partly comfortably, and had often the last few weeks. 

“There is a stream leading into a small pond, if you would like to bathe it would be a good place, no?” Zevran smiled at her, knowing what she’d say.

“Help me out of these, I want a bath.” Zevran was already stepping in to help. Once the armor was off Janan stretched, and let her body get used to the air directly on it. Leather wasn’t as bad as chainmail, platemail, or scalemail, but taking it off felt good. She thought mages must have a nice time of it, always wearing robes and never having to deal with armor the way everyone else did. Then she remembered all the mages she had to kill and how easily she’d cut them down. If her child was a mage they’d know the pains of wearing true armor. “We should also take anything that needs to be washed.” 

“I have already gotten a pile by the door,” Zevran stated as he pointed. Janan blinked, sure enough there was a large pile of clothing they’d worn, their bedrolls, and what looked like a few blankets he’d grabbed from the house. 

“Oh, good. Now let’s get you out of your own armor.” Janan gave Zevran a smile and started to work on his buckles. Zevran let her, knowing that when they got to the river she was going to have a hard time getting away from him. They’d been so long on the road he was beginning to think that he’d forgotten when she felt like. From the quick movements Janan was using to get his armor off he figured she felt the same way.   
Both sufficiently stripped of armor, but not weapons, they headed toward the stream Zevran had gone to earlier. On the way by Janan noticed that Zevran had also gotten the horses water and found some oats that hadn’t been ruined. He’d been busying while she’d been sleeping. 

“You did much while I was sleeping,” Janan noted. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You were exhausted, mi amor,” Zevran answered. “In truth I had been hoping that you’d sleep longer. The little one puts a strain on your body and it shouldn’t surprise you that you need more sleep.” Janan raised a brow at him.

“Are you a baby expert, Zev?”

“At making them, apparently,” Zevran chuckled. “I grew up in a brothel, the women there were not shy about things like that, or anything, in truth. What I know of babies I learned from them, at least the basics. Better to be prepared, yes?”

“We’ve been together a while now and yet I’m still learning more and more things about you,” Janan commented with a smile. “You are a deep well of experience and surprises.”

“You flatter me.”

They came to the stream and they both set down their armfuls of clothing. The stream was quite wide and looked at least ten feet deep in the middle. Coming from the mountains mean it would be cold water but as Dalish she’d spent most of her life bathing and washing in the cold rivers and streams of Ferelden, this would be quite nostalgic.

Janan wasted no time in stripping out of her clothes and slipping into the cold water. Goosebumps broke out everywhere, but she ignored them and stayed under the water, letting her body get used to the cold. She swam around and headed for the shallow bank where she could stand and wave Zevran in.

“Come on, Zev, this feels great!” Janan said with a smile. Zevran was staring at her. “What is it?”

“Janan, you are showing,” Zevran stated. Janan stared for a second before looking down. Sure enough there was a tiny little bump, barely noticeable. She felt Zevran in the water and then felt his arms around her. “This is very exciting!”

“There is another person inside there, growing,” Janan said. “Can you believe it? We’re going to be parents!” The fear had worn off to be replaced with excitement. 

“Marry me, Janan.”


	11. Chapter 11

"Marry me, Janan." 

Janan stared at him, open shock across her features. She had always figured eventually they'd get married, but she never even thought of the proposal like this. She was standing in a river, naked, knocked up, and on the brink of becoming a broodmother if she didn't get a long shot cure that involved blood magic and traveling to Kirkwall, and all the way back to the Korcari Wilds before she gave birth. She knew Zevran could be romantic, heart achingly so, but this was about as far from romantic as you could get. Even so the answer was simple and it felt right to say it.

"Yes," Janan replied as she broke out into a grin. "Of course." Zevran grinned himself before walking into the water to cup her face and claim her lips in a kiss, not caring about his clothing getting wet. Janan replied in kind and wrapped her arms around him. "I never expected you to propose like this," Janan laughed.

"In truth, neither did I," Zevran chuckled. "It just seemed right."

"As long as you didn't propose in a field of corpses covered in blood and looking like a demon the answer was always going to be yes," Janan stated. "For the record it always better to propose before you get a girl pregnant, ma vhenan."

"What is that?"

"Hmm?"

"That elvish saying." 

"Ma vhenan?"

"Yes, that one."

"It means my heart," Janan answered. "I didn't want to use it before now be-" Zevran silenced her with a kiss which she happily returned in kind. 

"It doesn't matter, it is a very wonderful saying, mi amor," Zevran stated with a grin. Janan couldn't help the blush across her cheeks and her pounding heart. She felt like a young girl with her first crush again, but it was so much more real now. She could hold him, she could taste him, she could do anything she wanted to with him. 

"You know what else is wonderful?" Janan whispered. "You removing all these annoying layers and coming and joining me for a swim." The way she said swim Zevran knew that was definitely not the intention, and he could hardly deny his brand new fiancé. 

"A swim sounds very nice, yes." Zevran stepped away and started pulling his clothes off. Modesty had never been something he'd had and the thought of being seen didn't bother him, it was more exciting when there was a chance of being seen. Janan normally would have demanded they wait until they get back to the house but the city was abandoned, there was no one around to see them. Once Zevran was naked Janan pounced, giving him no chance to play coy with her. 

"Why don't you demonstrate how you got me pregnant, Zev?" Janan asked with a sly smirk. Zevran was only too happy to oblige. 

 

Zevran and Janan laid on the bank their bottom halves in the water and stared up at the sky, breathless and very, very pleased with themselves. The sun was still high in the sky which was good because neither one of them had actually done any laundry. 

"That was one hell of a way to celebrate our recent engagement," Janan muttered with a smile.

"It would only be right to celebrate again, no?" Janan laughed and gently smacked him on the chest. "Ah, but we have things to do and places to go. No time for more celebrations, I take it."

"How right you are," Janan confirmed. "Sooner we can get these washed the sooner we can hang them and get to what we came here for." Janan rolled over onto her hands and knees and grabbed a few pieces of laundry, intending to start. Her clothes were the first things she wanted to wash. When her hand was just inches away Zevran tackled her to the side. An arrow stuck out of the ground where she'd been just a few seconds before. "Someone is shooting at us!" Janan exclaimed as she stared at the arrow with Zevran on top of her. He was protecting her, keeping her out of the line of sight. "Damn it, they've ruined my post sex good mood," Janan growled. "Who the fuck are you?" Janan yelled.

"How could you miss? She didn't even know you we were here!" 

"He saw me and pulled her out of the way! By all rights she should be dead!" Janan ground her teeth while Zevran motioned to a rock to take more cover. Janan nodded and they quickly got to their feet, and dashed over to the rock. Janan squatted down to make sure that she was completely covered by it and then peeked a bit out. Two men in leather armor were sitting in the dark tree branches down the bank, looking at where she and Zevran had been just moments before. From there they would have seen them having sex, easily. A deep blush spread across her cheeks as she thought about it and found herself trying to forget everything but the fact it had been great.

"They're Crows, mi amor," Zevran commented. 

"Crows? Well, shit. I have the House of Repose following me, and you've got Crows. Can this get any better?" Janan muttered. 

"There are probably others who have taken up positions around us. TypicalCrow tactic to make sure that the mark doesn't escape," Zevran explained. He was much too happy about the entire situation. Janan looked over her shoulder at him and shook her head. She couldn't believe this. "We were unprepared for this, but we do our best work when caught unawares, no?"

"Zevran, what is that pressing against my butt?" Janan asked. 

"That would be my erection."

"Why do you have an erection at a time like this?! I can't think of a worse time for you to have one!"

"Danger is exciting, mi amor."

"You must have had a constant erection during the Blight."

"Nearly, yes." 

"Are you two done bickering? We let you have sex so you could die happy, now let's get to it." Zevran was in motion, grabbing the hand of the person coming at them from the shadows with a dagger. He twisted their wrist back took the dagger and slammed it into their throat. The woman stared at him with wide eyes as her blood seeped out through the wound. 

"Perfect," Zevran stated as he took the dagger and the bow and quiver from the dying woman. "Are you ready to get to work?" Zevran held the bow and quiver out to Janan. She took it, gave a curt nod and slung the quiver over her back. It felt wrong going into battle with no clothing whatsoever on, but there wasn't much choice. 

Janan climbed up on the rock and took aim at the two archers in the tree. She let one arrow fly and three seconds later another. They both hit and the bodies fell out of the trees. There was no playing around. It was kill or be killed, and standing still meant death. Her work done Janan jumped off the rock, landing in a roll and came out of the roll at the same time as she drew another arrow. The arrow pulled back on the bow easily and she saw a Crow peeking around the corner of one of the houses. Janan let the arrow fly, not intending to hit the target, it was just enough for them to duck behind cover again and let her get closer, and out of sight of other archer who might want to put one into her flesh.

Zevran took the one dagger from the woman he had just killed, ignored the blood covering his hand and threw down a smoke bomb while he slipped into stealth. There would be no more on the opposite side of the river, it wasn't a viable way of escape. The water would slow them down and make them easier targets. All the assassins were on the same side of the river as them, and would most likely be a mix of close quarter combatants and archers. It was a well known Crow tactic. Why bother changing what worked?

Suddenly a fire ball exploded where he'd been not even ten seconds ago. Zevran rolled with the blast, a bit startled. There was a mage, the Crows had never had a mage in the group before. They'd changed up the roster of the missions a bit. It made sense since he had been a Crow, he'd know how they thought. If they didn't want to be completely slaughtered they'd have to have changed. Then again, they didn't know Janan. If there was someone who could throw a wrench into the best laid plans, it was her. 

"A mage? Are you seriously that afraid of one Crow who doesn't want to be a Crow anymore?" Janan mocked. Zevran stole a quick glance at her and saw her moving toward a house. "Such babies, don't they teach you anything?" Zevran wasn't entirely sure that mocking without armor was a very good idea, but he trusted her. 

He picked his way through the grass until he found the hiding spot of the first assassin. This one was waiting for his signal to attack, but it would never come. Zevran slammed the dagger into his eye and kneed him in the groin at the same time. Before he made another sound Zevran put his hand over the man's mouth and grabbed the back of his head. 

"You understand," Zevran stated as he wrenched the man's neck around. Zevran took the long sword of the assassin and hunkered down behind the tree where he'd found the assassin. An arrow skittered off of the bark just above his head. Zevran instinctively ducked down and glanced around. It was only after he heard the next arrow whistling on the air that he saw where the archer was hiding. They were standing on top of a roof a few houses in. Zevran knew even has he moved to the side that he was going to be hit. The arrow hit him in the left shoulder. He broke off the shaft so there was barely an inch sticking out of his skin and started sprinting into the city. Most of the assassins would likely be hiding in there. 

"Don't you dare shoot at my fiancé!" Janan snarled as she shot two arrows at the elf on the roof. The second arrow hit, toppling the woman from the roof. If the arrow didn't kill her the fall certainly would. "I suggest you all leave now, while you are still alive, otherwise we will kill you all!" Janan slipped into the building she'd last seen the Crow hiding behind. Once inside she knew that it was a mistake. It was dark and the only option to fight was close quarters. Janan was at a bad disadvantage having only a bow and a few arrows.

"Not smart, coming into close quarters with an assassin." Janan could identify the voice as male but she wasn't sure where it was coming from. He had almost the same Antivan accent as Zevran had, just a little heavier from not being in Ferelden as long. Janan scanned the darkness, trying to see everything at once. 

"It's not smart taking on the Hero of Ferelden, or killing my post-sex buzz," Janan added. "I get quite grouchy when I don't get to cuddle." Janan heard movement behind her and squatted down to make herself smaller. She kept her legs spread out so she could easily throw herself in any direction she needed. It took more willpower than she cared to admit to not think about the fact she was naked. After this she was never having sex outdoors again. 

The blade came from her left and Janan rolled with the swing, it just barely missed the top of her head. She was never taking her armor of again, she'd slept in her armor before, what was living in it? Janan did a quick glance over of the bow and knew it wouldn't do her any good in this. It was just wood and would easily break if she tried to catch the sword on it. It was a human bow, she wished she had her Dalish bow, it was made of Ironbark and could take a sword strike.

He stepped out from behind a pile of decaying hay and leered at her. He looked her up and down and grinned wider. Janan just barely stopped herself from shuddering. 

"If you weren't already knocked up, I might think of trying myself, you don't look half bad." Janan glared at him and then threw herself at him. The move caught him off guard and she followed him to the ground, arrow in hand. She stabbed the arrow into him repeatedly, going for the face and the neck as she saw an opening. He gurgled blood and Janan glared at him. 

"Like I said, I didn't get to cuddle." She kicked him before she climbed up the stairs and made her way to the roof. She climbed out onto the roof and steadied herself on the peak. She kept her eyes on the city, intending to shoot at the Crows until she had no more arrows.

"She got the boss! She got Riccardo!" 

"That's right, now get the hell out of here before you meet the same fate!" Janan yelled from the top of the roof. "I am the Hero of Ferelden and there was saying among my clan's hunters, you do or you die. Flee or die. I won't spare a single one of you!" Four Crows fled deeper into the city, too terrified of the two naked people tearing through their ranks. Janan watched them go and when no more arrows or magic flew at her Janan tossed the bow to the ground, with the quiver following soon after.

When back on the ground Janan checked herself over and found a few small nicks and scrapes she hadn't noticed before but was otherwise unharmed. Zevran jogged over to her, keeping his hand over the arrow sticking out of his shoulder.

"Come on, to the water, it will be easier to clean it there," Janan said as she took his hand and led him to the water. She grabbed her shirt that the arrow had been put through and tore a piece off. Zevran sat down on the bank letting his feet into the water and waited patiently. Janan wet the cloth and turned to him. "It's going to hurt."

"Do it fast." Janan nodded and gripped the stub of the arrow. She yanked it out and with it came blood. She put the cloth over the hole in his shoulder and pressed hard. Zevran's face scrunched in pain and he let out a small grunt. Janan held it there, waiting until the flood of blood lessened. Now that she wasn't in battle anymore her chest was starting to ache. Her ribs were not fully healed and she was certainly feeling it now.

"After we wash everything and hang it up to dry, what do you say we get the ashes and get out of here?" Janan asked. 

"It sounds like a very good plan to me, mi amor," Zevran answered. Janan nodded her head and pulled the top of the cloth away to check on the blood. It bubbled out and she returned the pressure on it. "At least our activities leading up to the fight were entertaining."

"Zev, shut up," Janan said with a smile and a roll of her eyes. "It's good to see that your erection is gone. Pain a turn off?"

"On the contrary, pain applied in the right manner-," Janan stared at him with a flat look, "-ah, that is not what you meant. Getting shot at and injured in battle is a turn off, yes," Zevran agreed. 

"You are an open book, and yet I still learn more and more things about you I never knew, or thought to ask. If this is what marriage is going to be like, well, it's going to be interesting to say the least. Let's hope our child isn't a trouble magnet like their parents."

"Yes, let us hope," Zevran agreed. Janan tore her shirt more and wrapped it around Zevran's shoulder. It would work well enough as a bandage.

"Head on back to the house, I'm going to wash these things and hang them up. I'll help you into your armor when I get back, ma vhenan, but I imagine that you can handle getting your clothes on at least." Zevran nodded his head. "Don't worry, I will keep my eyes and ears open for anything that doesn't belong. I'm not letting my guard down again." She kissed him on the forehead and pointed to the city. Zevran gave a smile and a small roll of his eyes and left without a word. Janan turned to the laundry and sighed. She became a hunter so she didn't have to do the laundry and now here she was, doing laundry.


	12. Chapter 12

The clothing was washed and they were hung on tree branches to dry. The wind wasn’t strong enough for her to worry about them blowing away so she walked back to the house, fully clothed and almost hyper aware of everything around her. She wasn’t going to be ambushed again.

Janan pushed open the door and found Zevran sitting at the table, pants on, and shirt slung across the back of the chair with a thread and needle in his hand. He was carefully stitching up the arrow wound. It was only because she knew him so well that she saw the tension around his eyes and the careful set of his jaw.

“You should have waited for me, ma vhenan. Let me finish,” Janan said as held her hand out for the needle and Zevran handed it off to her. She carefully stitched the injury closed with small x’s. When she was finished she tied off the last one and then cut the rest of the thread off. The blood was still seeping.

“Thank you, mi amor,” Zevran said with a grim smile. “Somehow even your stitches are adorable,” he added. Janan rolled her eyes and then tossed a clean cloth at him. It was still damp but it was to clean up the blood so it didn’t matter. Once cleaned up Janan helped get Zevran’s arm into his armor, once that was done everything else slid on easily. She quickly hopped into her own and they started on the trek to get to the Urn.

They walked across familiar terrain in silence. When they had come through before there had been nothing but sound, screams and grunts, clanging metal and the thwang of bow strings now it felt wrong for there to be sound, this place felt like it should be kept quiet for those who felt the need to pray. Sometimes even the sound of their footsteps seemed too loud and disrespectful to the woman who was the bride to the Maker.

“It feels much different from the last time we were here, yes?” Janan nodded her head in agreement. “I think it might be that we’re not under attack the entire way,” Zevran added as an afterthought.

“It does feel a bit strange to be walking through here and not be under attack,” Janan confirmed. “It is a nice change though.”

“In truth the nicest change is the fact that there are no spiders. We have been in places like this before and there were spiders crawling all over everything, staring with their beady eyes.” Zevran saw Janan shudder.

  
“Don’t remind me,” she muttered. Spiders were not her favorite thing and there were very few things that she liked less than spiders. Little, normal sized ones she could handle. The ones that she always seemed to find in caves and the like were monstrous in size and could spit their venom much too far, those were the ones she hated, those were the ones that would invade her dreams after meeting them. Worse yet were the corrupted ones she had seen during the Blight. “We just need to get to the Urn, take the ashes, and get out of here. Nothing bad is going to happen, right? Right.”

“Everything will be perfectly fine, as we did not defile the ashes last time in order to turn Andraste into a High Dragon,” Zevran stated.

“We really lucked out on that one, didn’t we? It was bad enough we had to fight one dragon during the Blight, I don’t think we would have survived two. I supposed it would have been good practice,” Janan added with a shrug. “Come on, we’re almost to the Gauntlet.”

The Gauntlet had been a trial to protect the ashes from people who wished to defile them and she’d beaten it. Now there was nothing protecting the ashes. They sat in the same place where she had left them the last time. Apparently no one had been to the temple since the magic had faded. Janan said a prayer to the Creators and made her way to the Urn. She grabbed it and looked inside, sure enough the ashes were where she’d left them. Janan grabbed a canning jar she’d found in the village and poured the ashes inside, then replaced them with ashes from the fireplace.

“No one will be any wiser,” Janan declared as she looked at the canning jar of Andraste’s ashes. They’d all fit nicely into it. “I do wish there was another way, I didn’t like coming here to take some the first time, and I still don’t like it now,” Janan sighed.

“We do what we have to.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Very true. We should go, we will be able to make it back to the village before nightfall if we keep up a good pace,” Zevran added. Janan nodded and placed the jar into her bag, carefully wrapping it in her clothes to keep it safe. With the ashes protected and safe Janan they left the temple and headed back to Haven.

Just as Zevran had predicted they made it back to Haven before nightfall, they had jogged more than half way back, but they made it. Janan set her pack down and then headed to the river to grab the laundry that hadn’t really needed to be washed. It had been in the plans for them to stay a few days to rest and get good nights of sleep but the ambush by the Crows had made it a bad idea. They were leaving in the morning, and they needed to have a watch again. The bright side was there was an actual bed they could sleep in.

With the clothing brought in and mostly dry Zevran set to making dinner he found some canned vegetables that hadn’t gone bad and threw everything into a pot to turn into stew. He threw in the rest of the pork that he had left over from breakfast and mixed it together with some water and various spices they’d found. In an hour it started to smell decent.

“If the thought of meat didn’t turn my stomach I would devour that,” Janan sighed as she nibbled on some dry fruit. Zevran set a cup of tea down in front of her. She sniffed it and once she deemed it wasn’t too strong or too weak she sipped it. “Mint tea, where did you find mint leaves?”

“There was a plant growing outside in what used to be a garden,” Zevran answered. “I pulled all the leaves off for you.” Zevran set a small pouch down on the table and Janan took it. “I remember the women talking in the brothel about how it would quiet their stomachs.”

“Thank you,” Janan smiled. She sipped the tea and nibbled on her fruit while staring longingly at the stew. “I’m going to regret this. Can you dish me out a small bowl?” Zevran smiled and nodded. He took one of the bowls they brought with them and filled it half way, she stuck the spoon in and handed it to her. Janan took it and stared at it. Her stomach did small flips but she ignored it. She was tired of nothing but fruit and water, she was tired of being nauseous. In truth she didn’t understand how people went through this more than once. Before she could talk herself out of it, Janan filled the spoon and took a bite. She chewed, swallowed and then waited, expecting it to come back up. Zevran watched her out of the corner of his eye. “I’ve missed food,” she declared and started eating, ravenously.

“Don’t eat it too fast, you will vomit,” Zevran advised. Janan looked up from her bowl and gave a small sheepish smile. “Take your time, mi amor, no one is going to steal it.” Janan nodded.

“I’ll take first watch, by the way. If I’m going to vomit this all back up it is likely to be soon after I eat it,” Janan added. “How is your arm?”

“Sore and not in the good way,” Zevran answered easily as he dished himself out a bowl of stew. “I have had much worse, mi amor, there is no need to fret.”

“There is always need to fret,” Janan stated. “You were shot by a Crow, we were lucky they didn’t think to poison the arrows, it’s what I would have done.” Janan took another bite. Zevran wasn’t able to hide the wince at the mention of poison. “Zev?”

“It is a slow poison,” Zevran stated as he worked his armor down over the injury and moved his shirt. The stitches were red and angry, blood was still seeping from the wound and there were small purple lines coming from the edges. Janan’s eyes went wide. “I only just realized it, mi amor.”

“This is…This can’t be…” Janan pulled her legs out from underneath the table and put her head between her legs. The world was spinning too fast and she felt like all the food she was managing to keep down was going to come right back up and spill across the floor. “Do you know the poison? Do you know the plants needed to counteract it?” Janan asked, she closed her eyes and kept her head down, it was helping, barely.

“Regrettably no,” Zevran answered. He put his armor back into place and walked to crouch beside her. He rubbed her back as she breathed in and out, working to keep herself calm and keep her food down.

  
“We should have kept one alive, just in case. We should have never stayed here a few days. I’m going to destroy the Crows, I’m going to kill them to a man for this!” Janan got to her feet and bolted out the door. Zevran heard her retching outside, she’d stressed herself out too much.

“Mi amor, it will be fine. We will stop at a healer in Jader and they will be able to counteract the poison,” Zevran said. Janan retched again and spat the taste from her mouth before she came back in.

“You might not make it that long,” Janan said. “I should have paid more attention to counteracting poisons than making them,” Janan sighed, thinking back on her lessons as a hunter. It was always easier to make an antidote if you had the poison, she remembered. They didn’t have the poison; it was going to be even harder. If she made the antidote too strong it would kill him just as sure as the poison. “I’m going to find some herbs I know about, stay here.” Janan didn’t wait for his response, instead she turned and left, leaving Zevran there to finish his dinner.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for torture.

Janan didn’t go find the herbs she knew would help with poisons. She walked toward where she had seen the Crows fleeing too and found their tracks. They had been in a rush and their tracks were obvious and simple to follow. She followed them. It didn’t matter that she was out of arrows, she had daggers she could use to fight with, and she knew they had the antidote. You don’t work with poisons and not carry the antidote in case you are shot with your own arrow, or accidentally stab yourself. They had the antidote on them, she had to believe it. 

The night drew on as she followed the tracks. It was getting harder and harder to see anything but her eyes adjusted as best they could. It would help her to find their camp fire, but she’d be blind in the dark after she found them. There would be no choice but to bring back a torch.

An hour later Janan found the camp site. There were three of them left and they were huddled around the fire looking beaten and angry. None of them were talking and none of them were keeping watch. That was their first mistake. Janan watched them for a moment, thinking of the easiest way to kill two and subdue the third so she could get her answers. Being quick would be key here. She had her armor now so she didn’t have to worry too much, they could still get a lucky shot in. 

“I can’t believe we were beaten by two naked people! We are a disgrace!”

“The woman became the Hero of Ferelden by defeating an Archdemon, that is no small feat,” one responded. “She would have to be good at fighting and everything else. Trust me it is no shame. The other one was Crow, he would have had to be good in order to even become a Crow but he used to be one of the best. We are lucky they let us go. They could have killed us if they wanted. Now shut up.” 

“We got the Crow with poison anyway, he will be dead in a few days. We got our target, let it go,” the third Crow added. They fell into silence again. Janan inched closer and pulled her daggers out. She wanted to save the one with arrows for last, they were the one that was likely to have the poison on them. She positioned herself behind the closest Crow. She was lucky they were night blind, otherwise they would have seen her. There was no cover for her other than a few scraggly bushes that really weren’t much cover. 

Before she started her attack Janan closed her eyes and took in a deep breath through her mouth. She held it for five seconds before letting it out, slowly, through her nose. She’d learned it was a good way to steady the nerves. She was taking a huge risk fighting these Crows three on one like this. Keeping a level head would be the most important thing she could do in this situation. 

Janan leapt from the shadows, stabbing her daggers into the exposed neck of the Crow closest to her. There was a squelching noise as she pulled her daggers out and jumped across the fire toward the second Crow. They were reaching for a weapon now, but Janan was too fast and they were too slow. Surprising them had been the best option and it was working out well. She dove behind the second Crow as the third strung an arrow. Her daggers easily parted the thin leather straps keeping the tunic in place and she slipped the dagger between their ribs, impaling the heart. They let out a small breath and went still. She held their body up in front of her just in time to take the arrow that had been intended for her. Janan dropped the body to the ground and ran at the archer. She sliced through the string on the bow with one dagger and put the second to his throat. He froze and looked at the blade. Janan’s chest was heaving from the effort and she smiled up at him. 

“Miss me?” Janan asked pleasantly. “I couldn’t help but over hear that you happened to use poison. I fear that one of your arrows struck Zevran and I need the antidote. I suggest that you hand it over,” Janan stated as she pressed in the dagger just a fraction more. There was a thin line of blood that sat on the blade now. 

“Why would I give it to you? You’re just going to kill me,” the assassin stated. Janan nodded her agreement.

“Yes, I’m going to kill you. You are after Zevran and you lot poisoned him. If you give me the antidote willingly I will make this quick for you. It will be painless. If you don’t do as I ask then I will torture it out of you and dying will take much, much longer.” Janan gave him her best smile. “Really either option works for me, I’m more than willing to do either. You don’t get to be the Hero of Ferelden without picking up a thing or two about torture. I’m not squeamish about it. You would think that as someone who grew up outside of human influence in a loving clan with a happy life that torture would put me off. It doesn’t. Now, give me the antidote,” Janan said as she held out her hand. The Crow glanced from her hand to her face and then spat at her. The spittle hit her in the face and Janan blinked once. Her smile changed suddenly. It wasn’t a good smile anymore, it was the smile of a wolf. She kept the dagger on his throat and used the other to stab him in the thigh. He cried out and reached for his leg as it went out. Janan moved the dagger so he didn’t slice himself open but once he was on the ground she replaced it. 

“I won’t give you anything! We fulfilled out contract, that is all that matters. He’ll be dead in three days. Enjoy yourselves as best you can because it will eat him from the inside out.” The assassin chuckled. “Your torture won’t get anything out of me. I’ve endured worse to become a Crow.” Janan shook her head. She put the dagger in her off hand away and looked him in the eye. 

“I doubt that.” Janan took her pinky finger and held it up to him. “I’ll start with this one.” Janan plunged her small finger into the slit from her dagger. He let out a whimper of pain before he cut it off. Slowly she moved it around, twisting it as she moved it from one end of the slit to the other. Sweat appeared on his face as he fought back the screams. She pulled the finger out of the injury and looked at him. “I have another four fingers and that was the smallest. Give me the antidote.”

“Go fuck yourself, bitch.” Janan shrugged and shoved her ring finger into his leg. She repeated the process and pulled it out. “This is nothing. It may hurt but you won’t break me.” He smiled at her and Janan locked eyes with him. 

“You’re right. This won’t break you, this is just the beginning, my friend. You will soon find out that I’m not a very nice person when people have hurt the one I love. I will sell my soul to Fen’Harel if it means I can keep him safe. You and I are going to be friends until you tell me what I want to know. Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Janan pulled her dagger away from his neck and then punched him in the temple just hard enough to knock him out for a few minutes. She grabbed the bedding from around the bedrolls and started tying him up. She wasn’t leaving without that antidote.

 

It was another two hours before Janan started back to Zevran. He was no doubt worried about her by now. She knew that she was covered in blood. He hadn’t wanted to cooperate with her and in order to get the information she had to resort to measures she cared not to think about it. Part of her didn’t care at all, these things happened when people didn’t give you information. Another part of her was ashamed. She’d just tortured another living being and that was wrong. She didn’t used to be like this. The Blight had changed her, and not just because of the taint inside of her, she’d become harder. When she’d left her clan she never would have imagined being perfectly able to torture information out of people.

By the time she got back to Haven and the house she was exhausted. There had been too much excitement for her liking today. She trudged in and sat down at the table where Zevran had fallen asleep in a chair. She poked him a couple of times and set the vial of green liquid down on the table in front of him. 

“Janan?” Zevran asked as he slowly opened his eyes. Janan nodded.

“Yes, it’s me,” Janan answered. “I found you an antidote, drink up,” Janan added as she pointed to the vial on the table. Zevran frowned and ignored the vial.

“You can’t go running off like that! I have been worried sick about you!” He got up from the chair and walked around to stand in front of her. “You said you were going to get herbs and you were gone for hours! I called and called your name out there until I was all but hoarse and you didn’t answer me. What were you thinking?” Zevran asked. There was no anger in his voice just worry and that was what made her break down into tears and fling herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I was terrified. I didn’t- I can’t lose you, vhenan. I can’t. You’re the only thing that is holding me together. I needed to get this for you, I need you. I’m sorry.” Janan let out the sobs she’d been holding in. Zevran held her tightly with one arm and rubbed her back with the other. He let her cry herself out.

“There, there,” he whispered. “Never do it again, please.” Janan nodded her head against his shoulder. “Good, now go upstairs and get out of your armor. Crawl into bed and sleep. I will be up momentarily.” Janan pulled away with a sniff and nodded her head. She walked upstairs and flopped into the bed. 

Zevran stared at the green liquid a second before opening the cork. He downed it in two swallows. It was bitter and made him gag but he kept it down. Once sure he wasn’t going to vomit it back up he went upstairs and crawled into bed with Janan.


End file.
